I am such a dork about Halloween.

Regular readers of this column know that Oct. 31 is my favorite day of the year. I don’t have kids, yet I almost made the ghoulish cake (complete with marshmallow ghosts) in this month’s Martha Stewart Living. In the four years we’ve lived at our house, ShopGuy and I have had a total of four trick-or-treaters ring our doorbell, but I insist on carving jack-o’-lanterns and setting out luminarias on the driveway. Every year, I buy a new Halloween-themed T-shirt and wear it to work along with black nail polish. It’s the next best thing to a costume. And it’s absolutely spooktacular.

This year, I set out early in search of Halloweenies, because I was a little late to the game last fall. And let me tell you, the deals were ghoulishly good. I scored my annual T, a fitted vintage design from Old Navy, for $5. While I was there, I couldn’t resist the holiday-themed PJ bottoms ($12.50), either.

While walking by the window at Judy’s Scrappin’ and Stampin’ in Orono, a painted tin pumpkin ornament caught my eye ($7). It will be perfect for my mom’s ever-growing collection. The good news? Now she has a cast-iron tree to hang them on.

But if she didn’t, I’d urge her to head straight to Target, which is its own little shop of horrors. Gnarled wire trees? Check. Headstones? Got ’em. Black silk rose bouquets? But of course. Target has pretty much everything one would need to create a haunted house.

T.J.’s and Marshalls both have a great selection of ghostly goodies, and I especially love the devil nutcracker at T.J.’s ($9.99). While I was there, I picked up antique-looking window decorations, a felt treat bag embroidered with a spider web (just in case those trick-or-treaters ever show), and Nicole Miller socks for mom – so stylish, so spooky. If I were feeling more tasteful, I’d have grabbed the blown-glass pumpkins at Marshalls, but I’m all for kitsch at the holidays.

Which is why I bought the glitter-bedazzled “Happy Halloween” sign at Patrick’s Hallmark. Patrick’s is like holiday central, and all Halloween merchandise there is 25 percent off. It’s like a (price) slasher film.

Speaking of films, my trip to Bath & Body Works was a little bit “Psycho” (the ghost-shaped loofah mitt is perfect for the shower scene) and a little bit “The Exorcist” – the selection was so good, it made my head spin. I had to resist the pumpkin-scented lotions and Halloween-themed antibacterial soaps.

But I’m not about to resist the elegant votive holders and fused-glass witch decorations at World Over Imports. Those are going to my sister, ShopGirl Jr., who is the official queen of Halloween. She snagged a cool trick-or-treat T at Target, which she plans to pair with a tutu and sparkly ballet slippers.

As the boys at ESPN would say, “Boo-yeah.”

Shopping notes

ShopGirl will be on vacation next week, but the column will resume on Saturday, Sept. 27. Until next time, happy shopping!