It was the best of open houses; it was the worst of open houses.

I am convinced that school open houses can serve a greater purpose than just one more time commitment and pressure to perform for teachers and just one more thing for parents to attend in the evening.

Teachers are often anxious before open houses. There is a significant amount of pressure from both internal and external sources. Will the room convey academic rigor as well as a welcoming and warm environment? Does every student have something on display? Will anyone show up? Will everyone show up so I can meet district expectations for attendance? Why am I even here?

Parents also have pressures around school open houses. Will I have to work late that night? Do I need to find a baby sitter or can I bring my kids? We have three children. How will we manage to divide up our time equitably with all the schools’ open houses? Will they lecture me about parental responsibilities? Will they give me a sense of what challenges and successes my student experiences during the school day? Will I get to meet the parents of that kid my kid keeps talking about? Why am I even here?

Administrators can do a lot to ease the pressures on both teachers and parents in many areas, including open house. First off, open house needs to have a purpose. A common definition is important.

University of Maine assistant professor Mary Ellin Logue, whose specialty is child development and family relations, defines the night with these comments: “When we hold open houses in social circumstances, we don’t sit our guests down and lecture them about our family’s rules. … We INVITE and SOCIALIZE. That is what I like to see. Open houses are wonderful opportunities for community building, if used that way. If schools or teachers want to orient families to their rules and practices, have an orientation … but don’t call it open house.”

Next, administrators need to make sure teachers and students are supported in their preparation for open house. Chelsea, a former student of mine and current Bangor High School student in an exchange program in Germany, writes, “What I (and everyone else I know) finds most frustrating about open houses is that our school NEVER looks as nice as it does when the parents are coming to visit! The week before an open house is always the worst because every teacher assigns some sort of visual project to display during the open house. There are always pictures and artwork hanging and everything sparkles on the night of open house.”

Her point is that schools should sparkle every day, not in a pristine way and not just when parents or bigwigs come to visit. Teachers should display all kinds of assignments during open house – visual, written, oral, multimedia – that have been completed over time, not done the week before open house.

Kristine Fox, director of program development and senior field specialist for Quaglia Institute for Student Aspirations, writes of a different approach to open house. “At Captain Albert Stevens School in Belfast, Maine, the principal, Susan Inman, did a spring twist on open house. Her school developed and planned an interactive night for parents and students. Parents and students rotated through a variety of stations and were asked to participate in specific activities related to the school’s vision. The excitement from both parents and students filled the school.”

An innovative approach like this would minimize many of the pressures that traditionally styled open houses produce.

Sometimes, no matter how well-intentioned or how well-prepared, a teacher has an open house experience that just defies description. Robert Klose, associate professor of biological science at the University of Maine at Augusta and a columnist for the Christian Science Monitor, told me this story that illustrates the impact open house can have on participants.

“When I graduated from college I actually taught high school for a year in New Jersey. I had a freshman boy who was absolutely impossible. He was a mischief-maker on auto-pilot. One day he filled the lock to my classroom with Elmer’s glue and toothpicks.

“Needless to say, I asked to speak with his parents at the open house. There we were, seated around a card table. The parents were first-generation Irish with an almost impenetrable brogue. Michael sat there grinning, with his arms crossed. I made my speech about being available to him between classes, after school, and during study halls. ‘I will do anything it takes to help your son, provided he wants to be helped,’ I told his parents.

“At that point the sainted mother broke into sobs and cried out, ‘I’ve never heard anything so beautiful in all me life. God bless you!’ Then the father broke down and wept copious tears. At this point, I couldn’t help myself and also began to cry. The only one not crying was Michael. The next day he was so bad that I had to throw him out of class. ‘Stand out here! In the hallway,’ I commanded, and then went back inside to teach.

“About 15 minutes later, there was a commotion in the school. I caught the arm of a passing teacher. ‘What’s up?’ I inquired. He told me, ‘One of our students left the school, got on the city bus, and hijacked it when the drivers changed shifts. [Michael] drove it all the way to his house.’

“I kid you not.

“That’s when I left teaching and joined the Navy.”

So there you are, the good, the bad and the ugly of open house. Help your school create a format for open house that works for your students, your parents, your teachers and your community. Then everyone will be able to easily answer the question “Why am I even here?” at open house.