‘Adult confidentiality laws’ serve to harm children

The recent Associated Press national survey of the incidence sexual abuse of children and minors by teachers left me reeling emotionally, “Sexual abuse plagues schools” (BDN, Oct. 21). Any humane citizen would hope for an end to this deeply, disturbing trouble. Any victim-survivor would indeed wish that childhood sexual abuse had never visited and affected their human life in the first place.

Granted, we accept the majority of adults, teachers and clergy as well-meaning in thought and action. But the continuing, troubling issue of sexual abuse of children by adults charged with their care is not going away, is it? The continuation of this on the heel of incidents involving priests, which has occupied public attention, anguish and outrage in recent years, is a disturbing sign that apparently a minority of adult perpetrators continue to slip by our social safeguards and wreak emotional and psychological havoc on the lives of vulnerable children.

We try hard to bury and deny the disturbing evidence, and yes, with dark, bleak late night comedy references, “who wouldn’t want to have sex with a teacher.” All of which becomes a twisted reflection of celebrity-sanctioned social indifference toward children and the real tragedy and trauma of childhood sexual abuse. Are we really all that happy laughing at someone else’s tragic expense or are we nervously laughing away the denial of our own complicity with the late-night joker?

Having personally dug into this issue and faced the brokenness, suffering and impact that childhood sexual molestation has had on my adult life, I am appalled that any “adult confidentiality law” would keep from public view, an acknowledgement of adults, teachers, clergy or other child care-givers who are dismissed for inappropriate sexual conduct with minors and children.

Given a “protect adult confidentiality” scenario in any county, state or country, it’s obvious who gets silenced and re-victimized: the child, who once exploited by the adult, most often shuts down and closes up because he or she comes to a conclusion that no one could possibly hear them, let alone listen to and understand the personal damage they wish and need to disclose. While we would agree that children need community assured protection from sexual exploitation and abuse, adult perpetrators hiding out and shielded by any “confidentiality laws” is blatantly not protective of children.

Most people have no comprehension of the shame, confusion and damage that goes on within a child subjugated to the twisted ministrations of adult-perpetrators, whose only intent is to present enough trust in order to subtly breach that trust to get what they want from the child they have been seducing into their twisted scheme. The reach and emotional impact of sexual abuse, and the denial of it, extended into adulthood, most often results in a host of troubles and disconnections in human and family relationships later in life.

When I read the AP-BDN stories about this issue, it broke my heart once again. I am no less outraged than I was when priests were disclosed a few years back; no less outraged and relieved than when a survivor-counselor told me 15 years ago “that what had occurred was not my fault”; and I am no less outraged than I was when the sexual abuse of children was first publicly broached by Time magazine in the late 1970s.

That’s getting close to 30 years ago by my count. Why has it taken us this long, and still, children are not adequately protected by the adult systems that profess to “care deeply about our children, our future?” Silence is no longer an option, for me. What about you?

It would seem to me to be protective public policy on behalf of children, that the veil of “adult confidentiality laws” be lifted and publicly transparent so that children, families, communities and the state are assured that indeed children matter, are our future and are being adequately protected from sexual predators and perpetrators in any setting.

This would be a significant step forward in walking the talk that children matter, are our future, that we will do our utmost to keep them from the deep harm of childhood sexual abuse by adults who have no interest in the well-being of children. This step forward is not too much to ask of our public officials and elected leaders.

Roger Merchant of Guilford is an educator with the University of Maine Cooperative Extension. He previously worked as a youth services social worker in Kentucky.