Hampden resident Cathy Bennett knows firsthand how the grief of a loved one’s suicide can overwhelm a family. After their younger son Dan killed himself in 2003 at the age of 24, she and her husband, Bill, spent countless agonizing days and sleepless nights reliving the shock and pain.
“We went through all the guilt, wondering what we did wrong,” she said. Especially as a professional nurse, she felt she should have realized that Dan was in acute danger and done something to get him the help he needed – although he was already in treatment for schizophrenia and depression.
It took more than a year for the Bennetts to learn about the existence of a suicide survivors’ support group and get involved with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. The connection has been extremely helpful, she said Friday, and has helped her family move on from the tragic loss of not only Dan, but also his older brother Michael, who died in a car accident in 1999.
On Saturday, Nov. 17, the Bennetts and their daughter Gen, along with others in Maine who are grieving a suicide death, will participate in a national closed-circuit telecast support program hosted by the AFSP. The date marks the ninth annual National Survivors of Suicide Day, and the fourth year the national telecast has been available in Maine.
The event will take place at the Eames Learning Center, 203 Maine Ave. in Bangor, near the airport. It is free and open to anyone affected by the suicide of a family member, friend or other loved one. Registration will start at 12:30 p.m. and the electronic link-up to the national conference will run from 1 to 2:30 p.m. Afterward, participants can take part in facilitated support groups until 4:30 p.m.
According to the AFSP, a person in the United States dies by suicide every 16 minutes, on average, with suicide attempts taking place every 45 seconds. It is the third leading cause of death among 15- to 24-year-olds, and the second most common cause of death among college students.
According to data from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 14 out of every 100,000 Americans age 65 and older take their own lives, and the rate is expected to increase with the aging of the baby boom generation.
In Maine, on average, one person takes his own life every two days, and there are two attempted suicides every day. Suicide is second only to car accidents as a leading cause of death in 15- to 24-year olds, responsible for approximately 25 to 30 deaths in young people in Maine each year.
Getting through the holiday season, Cathy Bennett noted, can be especially wrenching for families affected by suicide. She said talking about her son’s suicide has been a tremendous help, made easier by finding an understanding community of others whose lives have been similarly shattered.
In addition to participating in the annual AFSP conference, Bennett and her family take advantage of a monthly support group for survivors of suicide. The group, called Safe Place, meets from 6:30 to 8 p.m. on the first Wednesday of each month at the Brookings-Smith Family Center at 163 Center St. in Bangor.
For information about next Saturday’s conference or the Safe Place support group, contact Bill or Cathy Bennett at 862-3189 or e-mail them at cabenne@tds.net. Information about the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention can be found online at www.afsp.org. The director of the Maine chapter, Rhoda Freeman, can be reached at 822-9989 or by e-mail at rfreeman@afsp.org.
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