Since I began writing this column, friends and acquaintances have frequently asked me, “Where do you get your ideas?”

The answer I give is, “Oh, I brainstormed a whole list of topics before I even started. It’s at least four pages long.”

I give that answer because it is true, but also because it is easier to explain than the fact that the ideas come to me in a variety of ways. Sometimes I look at my topic list, and sometimes I think about what is going on in my professional life.

Other times a conversation with a colleague, friend or someone I’ve met through writing this column can prompt a column. And those conversations happen when I least expect it. My Oct. 22 column on the importance of phonological awareness began as a conversation during the Orono High School Homecoming Parade. Today’s column is a result of a conversation with Gary Theriault, Orono High School’s swim coach extraordinaire, and of the activities of my family for the last two weeks.

I did not attend any of my son’s swim practices (or track and field or tennis or drama or middle school soccer practices). Nor did I attend any of my daughter’s middle school field hockey or drama practices. I did this partly because of my children urging – no, whining – “Aw, Mom, you’re not going to hang around and embarrass me, are you?” and partly because I saw this time as their time to be independent. I can also say that I did this because as a parent, I’m always busy.

But I did attend my daughter’s first swim practice. I did this because I appreciated the slide show at the team banquet that another parent had done for the eight years his daughters were members of the team. I decided I needed to step up and take the photos necessary to create this year’s slide show. In between trying to catch the teenagers being unselfconscious enough for me to take their photos, I had a conversation with Coach Theriault. He wanted me to write about parents supporting teenagers in their extracurricular activities.

This struck a chord with me since my husband and daughter had spent the last two weeks working with a few other teenagers and parent volunteers to create the set for Orono High School’s production of “The Sound of Music.” This task is always challenging in every school, but at Orono it is extra-challenging since the performance area is also the gymnasium (Hmm, could this be a topic for another column?). Long before and then again after the performance, teenagers and parent volunteers assembled and then dismantled this amazing set before ultimately heading off to their cast party. Translating these actions into hours worked would result in a very large number.

Working alongside the teenagers, the parent volunteers had the opportunity to view teenagers from a different perspective and the chance to see that the teenagers were all individuals. Some demonstrated initiative, organization and attention to detail. Some wanted to be industrious but needed lots of support. Parents of sons got the chance to work with girls. Parents of daughters got to work with boys. The teenagers got the chance to work with adults who were not their teachers and not their parents. This experience of creating and striking a stage set was important. The opportunity to work in a mixed-age group was far more valuable for both the teenagers and the parents.

Sports teams also need parental support. It’s easy to drop your child off at practice and pick them up a couple of hours later. It’s easy to attend a few games or meets. It is just as easy to ask the coach if he could use a volunteer during a practice. And it’s even easier to come to the game prepared to help out.

Swim teams need lots of help with timing of the events. Two individual timers are needed for each lane, scorekeeping on the computer is easier with two people, and there’s always the announcer. Every team needs fans: Make a sign for your teenager’s team. Better yet, make several and pass them out to other parents at the game or meet. Organize a fundraiser or two for your teenager’s team. The money could be used to buy equipment for the team or team logo wear. Offer to organize a calling tree in case a practice has to be rescheduled, the bus is late returning from an away game, or the coach needs to get a message to everyone. Host a team potluck supper at your house. Organize a car pool for practices and games. There are many opportunities for parents to support a sports team. And just like the example of the stage set for the play, the intangible rewards for all involved are greater than can be imagined.

Other extracurricular activities also need parental support. Chess teams, speech and debate, math teams, foreign language clubs, Key Clubs, student publications, and every other team, club and student organization can benefit from parental support. And parents can benefit from providing that support.

I am so happy that I did go to that first swim practice to take pictures. I got to watch my daughter work hard while encouraging other freshman members of the team. I saw her comfortably talking to upperclassmen. I saw her demonstrate the all-important flip turn. I also saw other teenagers working hard, being exuberant, and worrying about choosing a cool team bathing suit. I got to see them as people rather than as a faceless mass of teenagers. The teenagers also got to see an adult taking an interest in them as individuals and as a group. Some were kids that I’ve known since they were in preschool. Others I had never seen before. I want to try to attend at least part of one practice every week, along with most of the meets. Hopefully my presence and my willingness to help out will allow every member of that team to understand there is one more adult who cares about them.

Teenagers may act and say they don’t want or need parents. But that is part of their developmental growth. Parents and other adults can find creative ways to be a part of their teenagers’ lives as well as the lives of the teenagers in the community.

Teenagers, when has a parent volunteer supported you in an activity? Parents, what have you gained from supporting your teenagers’ extracurricular activities? Coaches and advisers, how can parents help support you and the teenagers you work with? Let’s continue this conversation. E-mail me at conversationswithateacher@gmail.com.