God of Mercy, hear our prayer in this Advent season for ourselves and our families who live with the painful memories of loss. We ask for strength for today, courage for tomorrow and peace for the past. We ask these things in the name of you Christ who shares our life in joy and sorrow, death and new birth, despair and promise. Amen.

Source: Blue Christmas Service published by First United Church of Kelowna, British Columbia .

BANGOR – Not everyone sees the holiday season in glittering greens and golds.

Many people feel that blue should be the color of Advent because that is how they feel at Christmas as the New Year approaches.

Over the past decade, pastors have publicly recognized in services and sermons that while Christians are supposed to find joy in the impending birth of the Christ child, many are overwhelmed by feelings of loss and despair. Many churches around the state hold Blue Christmas services to help their flocks cope with depression during December.

Some are scheduled to coincide with the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, this year on Dec. 22. Others are held about halfway between the first day of Advent, which was Dec. 2 this year, and Christmas Day.

Blue Christmas services don’t usually feature the song made famous by Elvis Presley. Many are designed, however, to reflect the sentiment behind the lyrics: “I’ll have a blue Christmas without you. … Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree won’t mean a thing if you’re not here with me.”

One thing most of the services have in common is an acknowledgment that the secular side of the season can create expectations that many people feel they cannot meet, according to clergy who conduct Blue Christmas services. For some, Christmastime and the annual taking stock that the New Year imposes, accentuate what has been lost rather than what has been accomplished. The season also may bring up unhappy childhood memories of a family that did not fit the images made famous by artist Norman Rockwell in his magazine illustrations. “Many people experience deep grief and emotional struggle during this very difficult time of year,” the Rev. Carolyn Meltzer, vicar of St. Thomas Episcopal Church in Winn, told the Bangor Daily News last year. “I want to honor that, but I don’t want people to wallow there either.”

The 139-year-old church held this year’s Blue Christmas service Sunday afternoon. According to the vicar’s sermon last year, which is posted on the church’s Web site, Meltzer emphasized that in all suffering, God is present. She urged people who felt burdened by the season to reach out to others who also might be suffering.

She recognized that might be difficult. “But we live in a culture which seems to find God only when things are going well,” she said in her sermon, “and when everything is easy and obvious. The heart of the Christian faith, however, is the truth that God is most present in our brokenness and pain – not because God inflicts such on us but because God is also there. Nothing in all creation can separate us from the love of God, not even whatever it is you are going through.”

Several years ago Carol Sherman, a pastoral counselor in Bangor, offered the following advice to help people cope with seasonal depression:

. Re-evaluate your to-do list and cut it in half by eliminating all those things that are not love related.

. Be in fellowship with other people at events such as church, school or community concerts and plays, or take part in a caroling party.

. Seek out “feel-good” entertainment by reading books, listening to music or watching movies that are uplifting and offer a positive message.

. Do something new such as attending church services or special programs at churches outside your own denomination or community, such as a Christmas Eve pageant, or add a home ritual such as lighting an Advent wreath and saying the accompanying prayers.

The following Blue Christmas services are scheduled:

The Unitarian Universalist Society of Bangor, 120 Park St., 7 p.m. today, 947-7009.

First Baptist Church and All Souls Congregational Church UCC, both in Bangor, 7 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 13, at First Baptist, 56 Center St., 945-9694.

First Congregationalist Church of Brewer, 35 Church St., 7 p.m. Friday, Dec. 21, 989-7350.

Judy Harrison may be reached at jharrison@bangordailynews.net and bdnreligion@bangordai

lynews.net or 990-8207.