Plenty of thorns go with roses

It’s the annual Thorns and Roses time of the year in this column. We’ll start with the thorns. The only problem here was cutting the ugly, long list down to size.

5. To all the athletes who used steroids and performance-enhancing drugs, stick this thorn into your arm or bum. Barry Bonds defiled the home run record and Marion Jones epitomized the drugs and lies of “amateur” Olympic sports.

4. For all the college football coaches who pledged their undying loyalty to the old “U” they were at, received salaries completely undeserved and then left the next day, this thorn is for your feet of quicksand.

You might share that thorn with the ADs and presidents at all the old U’s who have numbly bought into the coaches’ upward salary spiral that is so ludicrous.

3. NBA ref Tim Donaghy pleaded guilty to being involved in gambling on NBA games. More fun in the trenches. This thorn hopefully deflates your career in gambling.

2. The stench quote of the year came from Victor Conte, he of the BALCO laboratory that provided performance-enhancing drugs to athletes. He said of his involvement in drugs and sports, “I was simply having a lot of fun. It was exciting to be in the trenches, to be at these world championships and Olympics and Super Bowls and travel all over the world.”

Living vicariously through sports and drugs. That pretty well sums up the slop bucket side of 2007 sports. Victor, this thorn is for you to drive into your own trenches.

1. The whole Michael Vick/dog fighting for dollars story is the repulsive worst. We are talking scum here of the most odious kind. Here’s a long thorn for that whole group – stick that into your paw.

Roses! We need roses.

5. To Kevin Garnett of the Celtics, this bursting bouquet for caring about the game, the Celtics, the fans and your own place in the game. How refreshing.

4. These beautiful reds are for the late Eddie Robinson. His football coaching career is the stuff of legend, and he was. His was at Grambling State from 1941 to 1997. He is second all-time in wins for any football coach.

More importantly, he opened the door for African-American players at the college and pro levels and fought the battles for civil rights by his example as a coach.

3. These long-stem whites are for the late Harold Alfond. His gifts to Maine are everywhere in buildings and institutions, but more importantly in the hearts of those he cared about. A life worth emulating is no small matter.

2. To George Mitchell, who undertook the task that was guaranteed to be nasty and elusive – the study of steroid and performance-enhancing drug use in major league baseball – these gorgeous wild Maine roses are for you. He completed the task with the professionalism and dignity that marks his life.

1. To 15-year-old Jessica Long go these two dozen full-bloom yellow roses. She is a Paralympian who had her legs amputated below the knees at the age of 18 months. She won nine gold medals at the International Paralympic swimming championships this year.

She also became the first Paralympian to win the top amateur athlete of the year award. That covers all amateur athletes.

Yes, Virginia, there are real athletes left in this world.

Happy New Year.

bdnsports@bangordailynews.net