When it comes to ice fishing, I’m a bit of a procrastinator. It’s not that the idea of drilling a few holes and spending a day snacking while waiting for flags to fly isn’t attractive.

It’s just that I’m a bit of a chicken. Or smart. Or something like that. Let me explain.

When winter rolls around and our lakes and ponds begin freezing up, I have no interest in tromping out onto what I like to call “skinny-guy ice.”

Nope. Not me.

A man’s got to know his limitations … and mine include this: I’ve got tiny feet and a big gut.

Years ago, when I was busy deciding not to become a physicist, I did absorb one practical lesson: When it comes to ice fishing, that’s a bad combo.

Here’s how the math works out: Little feet plus big gut equals way too many pounds per square inch exerted on the pond’s surface… which equals a better-than-average chance to end up swimming. Especially when you’re comparing that number to that of an average large-footed skinny man.

Therefore, I wait for what I like to call “fat-guy ice” before heading fishing.

And, I’m sorry to report, there isn’t much fat-guy ice around.

On Monday, I explained my fears to Gregory Burr, a biologist for the Department of Inland Fisheries & Wildlife.

Although he didn’t actually come out and say so, it seemed Burr’s assessment of Down East ice conditions could serve as a warning for some people … chubby chickens like me, for example.

Burr is one of the biologists responsible for managing the fisheries on Hancock and Washington county waters.

“On the smaller waters, even some of the smaller coastal waters, we’ve got generally six to eight inches of ice,” Burr said. “The bigger lakes, like Eagle Lake or Jordan Pond [on Mount Desert Island], you’re looking at three inches near the shore and pretty iffy ice further out.”

Tunk Lake, a popular fishing spot near Cherryfield, is even worse, Burr said.

“Tunk just froze over, but I’m pretty sure it will open back up again,” Burr said.

And that’s just the conditions that those who walk onto lakes can expect. Those who prefer to used motorized means to get to their favorite fishing grounds might want to think twice.

“It’s rough walking, or even getting around on a snowmobile or an ATV [on the smaller lakes],” Burr said. “It’s just slush soup out there. I think use is down, both because of concerns about conditions and the problem of having the snow and slush [on the lakes].”

Elsewhere, Brewer Lake resident Jerry Perkins has checked in twice in the past week to caution those who want to fish on his home water.

Perkins takes regular jaunts on or near Brewer Lake, and said the conditions near his house are varied.

The heavy layer of snow has made travel in some places extremely difficult, Perkins reported, as plenty of slush has been evident in spots.

On the southwestern end of the lake, where Perkins’ house is located, even two nights of subzero temperatures last week didn’t help all that much.

Perkins said folks are out fishing, but he urged caution.

“Obviously fishing can also be done at this end of the lake in the more shallow areas of the lake with care being taken while walking on the ice,” he wrote. “I would not recommend any heavy vehicles, four-wheelers or snowmobiles – but I will not be surprised to see someone try it.”

Trout topic of meeting

Folks who are interested in the state’s brook trout management efforts may want to head to Brewer on Thursday.

In 2006, DIF&W fisheries staff from the Moosehead Lake region developed a research project in order to gather more information on wild brook trout populations in large lake systems.

The Natural Resource Education Center of Greenville is sponsoring Thursday’s Brewer event to present the results of that study.

The meeting will begin at 7 p.m. at the Penobscot County Conservation Association clubhouse on Route 9.

The project included live-trapping wild trout on Chamberlain Lake, Round Pond and Telos Lake and implanting some of the fish with radio transmitters.

That allowed biologists to track the fish over the following year. Additional work was done to evaluate angler use and harvest of brook trout.

No admission fee will be charged at the meeting, but donations will be accepted.

Another word to the wise

Al Cowperthwaite, the executive director of North Maine Woods Inc., checked in to offer a suggestion to those who own property in the Maine woods.

“We’ve been shoveling roofs of our buildings this past week,” Cowperthwaite wrote. “With the current snow depths in the Maine woods and rain on the way, it would be a good public service if you would help spread the word [that] anyone who has a camp in northern Maine should be thinking about doing the same.”

Consider the word spread … at least as far as I can spread it on a Tuesday morning.

jholyoke@bangordailynews.net

990-8214