Sham that is ‘Idol’ is decidedly un-American

I am sorely disappointed in my country, the land of my birth.

No, it is not the useless war raging in Iraq, based on lies. It is not the disgraceful lack of a national health care system. It is not the lackluster field of candidates (on both sides) to become the next president, other than my man Dennis Kucinich. It is not the ruinous dependence on foreign oil aided and abetted by both Washington and Detroit.

It is “American Idol.”

This sham not only has been on American television for seven years, but is routinely among the highest-watched shows in the land.

Shame.

When I was a mere lad in Beantown, we all watched Community Auditions, sponsored by Community Opticians. It, too, was a low-rent talent show with accordion players, Irish step dancers and crooners from the Medford School of Music. Sure, we sat back and laughed at them. But the genial host treated the “talent” with respect. If I remember correctly, the winner was chosen by postcards in the mail.

But on “American Idol,” the show seems to be a set up for the smarmy and boorish “judge” Simon Cowell, who seems to be on a talent level with Snoop Dogg and the ubiquitous Donald Trump. He specializes in making cruel and insulting remarks to the people he allowed on the show in the first place.

I watched the show exactly once, at the urging of Blue Eyes, with the agreement that I would never have to sit through the pathetic exercise again.

It was roughly like going to a hospital to laugh at the crippled children. Give me football and endless old movies.

I will watch this show again only when the rules have changed to allow all of the contestants at the end of the show, to rush the judges and slap Cowell’s face at will. No punches allowed, because he is English, after all, and could break. I promise to watch again if Dogg and Trump share the “judging” duties and they are similarly flailed at the end of the show.

This show reminds me of “Candid Camera,” which also was designed to humiliate people whenever possible. I would hope that the CC cameramen and especially the unctuous Alan Funt suffered a few minor head injuries during the filming of the insulting stunts.

It’s not just me, brother.

Take my man Andy Dehnart, critic for MSNBC.

He said: “With a concept that’s a televised version of the American dream, the People’s Choice award-winning ‘American Idol’ is heralded as quality, positive, uplifting television.

“But that’s a lie. As these three weeks of auditions have shown us, ‘American Idol’ is no better than most of Fox’s other reality offerings. Shows such as ‘The Littlest Groom,’ ‘Joe Millionaire’ and ‘My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance’ create situations where people are humiliated just to amuse the audience – and to amass ratings that routinely destroy the competition. In their infancy, the ‘Idol’ auditions were amusing. Now they’ve become an exercise in crassness and excessive, unabashed meanness, perfect for a Fox reality show but unbefitting a show that has the reputation as best of its class.”

This is the best my favorite country can do?

I would rather listen to Dennis Kucinich talk about the time he saw a flying saucer – at Shirley MacLaine’s house. Now, that’s entertainment.

emmetmeara@msn.com