Remember when the best part of waking up was Folger’s in your cup? Now it’s frappuccinos, macchiatos, and cafe mochas – with or without the “whip.”

And if being overwhelmed with mildly foreign, slightly sadistic choices isn’t bad enough, you may also wind up flat busted after a trip to the corner cafe. A “venti” can cost more than what many harvesting those designer beans earn in a week. Unfortunate, but almost true.

Yet empty pockets and failed-fair-trade-induced guilt doesn’t stop me from chasing my craving. Like any addict, I need a fix.

It started innocently enough, as things destined to end badly often do. A diminutive demitasse of “Breakfast Blend” to welcome the day. But soon a short serving wasn’t enough to rouse me from my slumber. A mistress of denial, I switched my normal size cup to an oversized soup mug, a bowl with a handle. Caffeine’s vice-grip was tightening around me.

But I was young and wanted to appear bright-eyed and ambitious, not red-eyed and ambivalent, which is my natural state. I was also realizing that afternoon naps are frowned upon by corporate America. Instead of relocating to an area where siestas are the cultural norm, I added another kick of caffeine to my day. Soon I was a denizen of a tragically trendy cafe where Ani DiFranco was on heavy rotation and tattooed baristas served up $4 cups o’ joe with a side of smug.

There was no turning back.

My pleasurable poison was a creamy grande latte, with a touch of vanilla syrup to sweeten the shock. For those of you not versed in oft-misleading Starbucks dialect of java-speak, “grande” is “medium.” Disagreeable days required an extra espresso to dull the edge. Or to sharpen my own.

Thus I sped through my days on the ebbs and flows of caffeine, often gulping down another helping around happy hour to push me through my evening workouts. All the gym rats agreed that consuming caffeine before your workout burns more fat. Did I mention that I usually had a brownie or some crumb cake with my latte?

My moment of reckoning came a few sleepless years later when I found myself in a remote region of the Philippines, a part of the world that gleans its caffeine from innocent alternatives like “bubble tea.” I shuddered at the thought of very limited coffee selections: Nescafe, anyone? But once the inevitable withdrawal headaches subsided, I experienced an unfamiliar feeling of calm. It was strange, like what I imagine nirvana to be.

Sad to say, my clean living couldn’t last once I returned stateside. I slid backward into caffeine’s seduction, first with a cup, then two, of steaming black coffee every morning. But I have laid off the hard stuff, the red-eye espressos, the grande macchiatos with the feels-so-good-it’s-bad whip.

At least for today.

Butter-Yum Coffee

1 shot DeKuyper butterscotch schnapps

1/2 shot Bailey’s Irish Cream

1 shot vanilla rum

Coffee

Whipped cream

In a tall, Irish coffee glass, combine schnapps, Bailey’s and rum. Fill glass to top with coffee. Finish with whipped cream and, if desired, dark chocolate shavings or a drizzle of chocolate syrup.