A farewell, and a new beginning

Dear readers: It has been a pleasure and an honor to write these articles over the last five years. I am most grateful to you, my readers, for the feedback you have offered me and, in some cases, the friendships which have developed from this experience. I am also grateful to the Bangor Daily News and to the Voices column. These articles have offered me the opportunity to write down my thoughts and feelings about Judaism and my own particular ideas and relationship to Jewish topics and concerns. Thank you!

My wife, Alice, and I will be moving this summer. We are excited about this change and look forward to new opportunities. We are grateful to the excellent Bangor school system and to the quality of life that Bangor offers. Both of our sons are in college so this moment offers us a good time to evaluate where we want to be as we move on with this next period in our lives.

This last year has offered Alice and me a renewed outlook on our lives. We were able to discuss and evaluate where we are and where we want to go. We have been able to prioritize our goals and explore how to best achieve them as a couple committed to our partnership. This opportunity has been a blessing even though the process has, at times, included some challenging moments.

I am hopeful there will be many opportunities for growth. I will be moving closer to my 87-year-old mother who lives in Providence, R.I., my hometown. It is important to me to be close to her. I am excited about new professional and spiritual opportunities, and hope that I can find an inclusive, embracing and diverse Jewish community to be part of.

It can be challenging being a rabbi, or a clergyperson. The book, “Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue” by Edwin Friedman often is used as a resource for learning how to deal with challenging congregations. Rabbis are often, literally and figuratively, put on a pedestal and expected to live in ways that none of the congregants do. Do this, stand here, be this way, think that way, careful what you say, and careful what you do.

Some congregations want their rabbi to keep kosher, for example, even though they do not because that is what we are supposed to do so you, rabbi, do it in our place. The rabbi, or clergyperson, becomes the model of the Jew so that the congregants do not have to live that way. “I don’t keep kosher … but my rabbi does.” This funny but sometimes true example illustrates what I most dislike about some congregation-clergy relationships.

My model (and the Reconstructionist model) is one of the rabbi being a teacher and a guide to encourage each person to find his or her own meaningful expressions of and relationship to our Jewish heritage and traditions. We are not a substitute for your own lack of knowledge or involvement. Rather, each person is charged to find meaning in their Jewish spiritual life and community.

I remain committed to a Jewish life that values personal and communal growth and fulfillment; values our lives as Jews and as Americans and as global citizens; values eating and living with consciousness; values our own and others’ rights to a peaceful and healthy life; and values a commitment to leaving this world a bit better than how we received it.

Thank you. My best wishes for good health and for shalom.

Rabbi Barry Krieger is the rabbinic facilitator for the Hillel organization at the University of Maine in Orono. He may be reached at bkrieger56@aol.com. Voices is a weekly commentary by Maine people who explore issues affecting spirituality and religious life.