Now that my broken left arm is encased in a material that makes it resemble a section of PVC pipe, my thoughts turn naturally to the anatomy of the sling.

The sling I am wearing, which I acquired at the St. Joseph Hospital emergency room after I rode there in an ambulance at the height of the storm on March 1, is well made of a navy blue fabric banded with white bias tape. The fabric is a midweight canvas and the stitching is sturdy. If it had a red-and-white stripe logo affixed to it, or maybe a star here and there, it would be almost nautical in mood. Nice, but I prefer something a bit jauntier. Chintz roses, maybe, or black velvet studded with mirror embroidery in silver thread.

However, this sling has many good qualities. Its shoulder strap is about 11/2 inches wide – a good, comfortable width. It is padded with pale blue foam. The silver-metal D-rings front and back easily accommodate the strap.

The sling is a comfortable 8 to 10 inches deep, wrapping around my bunged-up arm much the way a bun fits around a hot dog.

But when it comes to functionality, the sling is a nightmare. It’s too short, ending above my wrist so that my hand is not supported. A strap sewn to the inside of the sling is intended as a place for a thumb to rest but the valley of my thumb is a good 6 inches beyond that strap.

The rear of the sling is cut at the wrong angle and fails to take into account the slope of the arm. Thus, my elbow does not seat at the back of the sling, causing an ugly, useless and unwieldy flap of fabric to form. And, the whole thing creeps, as if it has a life of its own and wants to get as far away as possible from its arm-supporting duties.

So, faced with the necessity of keeping boredom at bay because a broken arm limits all manner of simple activity, I have undertaken in my head a redesign of the sling I will be obliged to wear until the end of April. Here are my thoughts on ideal sling characteristics:

. Cut it long enough to fit the length of my arm.

. Cut the rear seam on a slant and insert a gusset with a bit of elastic at the top to hug the arm above the elbow.

. Cut the sling from one piece of fabric to eliminate the bias taped seam down the middle.

. Add a strap with a D-ring and attach the ends to either side of the elbow gusset to create a more balanced suspension system for the arm.

And that’s just for starters. It might be nice to have at the front of the sling a little strap that could be tethered to a belt loop to prevent the arm from its tendency to swing out during walking, bending or other motion. I’d also add a pocket large enough to hold a cell or cordless phone, for it became immediately obvious to me once my arm was immobilized that the phone was always in the wrong place to be reached easily when it rang. I also would line the sling with satin or other slippery fabric to make it slide easily over a sleeve.

As for the cast on my arm, I don’t think anything can improve upon that. It is made of fiberglass and was sculpted into place, by hand, by virtuoso orthopedic technician Travis Smith at Eastern Maine Medical Center. He wrapped the cast around my arm with a deftness and sense of form that bordered on art.

I could have opted for the camouflage or the stars-and-stripes pattern for the outer layer of the cast but I settled on plain indigo blue – to match my eyes. (Ah, vanity, thy name is woman.)

Smith told me that he puts approximately 300 arms in casts each year. And each one of those arms is assigned a sling in need of – in my opinion – updating. Multiply that number of broken arms by many thousands nationwide and what you get is a sling-making industry just waiting to happen.

Who knows, manufacturing more functional and more chic slings might even help carry the U.S. economy – which seems to have broken both its arms – back to health.

Snippets

Louise Storer and friends will share their knitting expertise, noon-2 p.m. Saturday, March 22, in the Riverview Room of Ellsworth Public Library. Bring a skein of light-colored yarn and 10-inch-long, size 7 or 8 single-point needles. For information call the library at 667-6363.

Visit www.lionbrand.com to read or share stories about knitting prayer shawls.

ahamlin@bangordailynews.net

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