At these prices, it’s hard to get the point

You were nothing if you didn’t have a knife. The more blades the better. Oh, God, it was nothing malicious. We were Huck Finn innocents. We needed the blades for something we called mumbletypeg, which consisted of dropping a knife from every part of the body into the dirt. In our version, it seems like you had to get the knife stuck into a circle drawn in the dirt, but that might have been marbles. There was some scoring system which has been lost in the fog of time.

Plus, you had to whittle in your spare moments like those film cowboys were always doing. I never could figure out the point of whittling. But I did it anyway. If it was good enough for Gabby Hayes, it was good enough for me.

This childhood fixation with knives continues today.

I have several knives in each vehicle. I have them on key chains, in my coolers and in each piece of “luggage” I own. There is always a sharp blade within arm’s reach of my bed.

The fixation was not helped when Jefferson Phil dragged me along on his various North Woods camping trips. I believe the first one was to Wadleigh Pond when we could not find Allagash Lake, despite days of driving. (And Jefferson Phil is a Maine Guide.)

As a city boy, I was grievously unfamiliar with the night noise in the woods. I assumed we were going to be consumed by a pack of carnivores at any second. Leaving the Donald Duck sleeping bag for the outdoor night to meet Mother Nature was a hair-raising adventure. Especially in the morning when my more astute companions identified the steaming mounds around the tent as bear leavings.

They all had knives. No one told me there were going to be knives. I was defenseless. We all envied Tom. He had a two-sided diver’s knife on his hip. Of course, he cut himself every time he tried to chop an onion, but the knife was beautiful.

When we finally, gratefully left the woods and hit pavement, I stopped at the very first place in Greenville and bought myself a hunting knife complete with a scabbard. It might have been $30. I still have it and bring it everywhere, even though it had lost its luster after several unplanned swimming trips. It is still sharp and will kill a grizzly when I need it to – or at least peel an avocado.

My knife mania flourished with the latest edition of Men’s Journal, a publication for people with too much money on their hands. I read it for the adventure treks on Mount Everest and the Amazon, which I never intend to make. But I love the gear.

If you want the Gerber Freeman Folder, “a 3.6-inch carbon stainless blade projecting savagely from your fist … with visceral strength and dual thumb studs,” you better pony up $72. (gerbergear.com)

I would bet that I have not spent $72 for my entire knife collection, big and small.

That’s nothing.

The “special edition, Alpha Dorado from famed knife maker Wilde Bill Cody … carved from an elk antler” will set you back a whopping $370 (buckknives.com)

My first car cost $50.

In case you win Megabucks, you can check out the Kershaw Tyrade, with a blade of hard stainless steel, plus a cutting edge of a second stainless steel that stays sharper longer. Naturally, it has a handle with a carbon fiber inlay. It better stay sharp forever with a price tag of $350. (kershawknives.com)

Of course the SOG knives, popular with SEALs and the Green Beret crowd, is the one to pull out on those camping trips. Try the Arcitech Cf, with “abalone in the blade’s thumb stud which glistens slightly. If you look closely, you can see the crosshatch weave in the carbon-fiber grip inlaid into the titanium handle.” Impressive, whatever it means. Also expensive. Try $425. (sogknives.com)

Imagine dropping that overboard on Chamberlain Lake while cutting up limes in a canoe.

If you are certifiably insane, you might consider the William Henry Studio B30 TSW. This carrot-peeler has 45 layers (honest to God) of stainless steel, “with wavy strata [- no idea -] gleaming along its length, pairing an aerospace-grade titanium handle with exotic snake wood. Consider this knife a piece of art with a purpose.” Consider $750. (williamhenryknives.com).

If I remember mumbletypeg, when you lost the game, you also lost your knife. Imagine losing your $750 snake wood William Henry Studio B30 TSW.

Your mother would be really mad.

Send complaints and compliments to Emmet Meara at emmetmeara@msn.com.