HOMESICKNESS REVERSED

Do you remember how kids often got homesick at summer camp? Well, surveys show that nowadays it’s often the parents who get sick with longing for their faraway children. It’s called “kid-sickness.”

Rachel Wray, who lives in Somesville, says her son Nicholas is having a great time, but it’s hard on her when he goes off to the Kieve Camp in Nobleboro. He started at the age of 9, and at the age of 13 he is there for his fifth summer. She says she loves his letters telling all about his great experiences that she couldn’t have provided – sailing, canoeing, hiking and camping out, “but I’m like crazy. I feel like my arm’s been cut off for three and a half weeks.” She says it’s worth it because he’s having such a good time. “We both still cry when he goes off, but now we cry less. It’s worth it.”

Mrs. Wray, a part-time writer at the Jackson Laboratory, once asked Nicholas whether he or other boys at camp were homesick. Sometimes, he said, but boys don’t show it much. They are too busy.

At Kieve Camp, Director Henry Kennedy agrees that parental pain takes some attention and care, but he says most parents can cope with it. As for the kids, they are doing fine without the constant communication by cell phone. This summer, only one of the 950 boys and girls has asked to use one. He said, “No.”

Many “helicopter parents” would rather hover over their children at camp and sometimes try to demand closer minute-by-minute contact and even frequent videos showing exactly what their children are doing.

A Chicago woman told The Associated Press that letters from her 8-year-old daughter, Zoe, “weren’t about missing us – it was all about her amazing adventures.” Zoe, now 9 years old, said: “They do keep you really busy. I think you get a half an hour from the time you dry off from your shower after you swim until your next activity. You really don’t have time to miss your parents.”

Parents sometimes explain their reluctance to let go by saying the world has become more dangerous. Kieve Camp’s Director Kennedy says, “Kids need a few scrapes and bruises metaphorically. If we’re overprotective, we are doing kids a disservice.”

Among the AP’s tips for dealing with kid-sickness: “Keep busy. Your kids will have a lot to do while they’re away, which helps them with homesickness. Plan some things to do, too. Pick up an old hobby, catch up with an old college roommate or plan a trip you might not take with the kids.”

And when writing to the child who is away, keep it positive. It’s all right to say, “I miss you,” but avoid saying things like, “The dog misses you, and the house is so empty.”