Have you noticed that so-called “conservative talk” shows are not conservative?

The American Heritage dictionary says that conservative means “traditional or restrained in style; moderate; cautious.” Conservative talk radio is anything but moderate, cautious or restrained.

Take Rush Limbaugh. During his Sept. 26, 2007 broadcast, he called soldiers against the war in Iraq “phony soldiers.” That’s not moderate, cautious or restrained. It is inflammatory, insulting and ignorant.

Conservative talk hosts get away with their appalling commentary because they claim the right to use invectives as a weapon to win arguments. In the end they forward their agenda not with facts, but with venom. They succeed by dividing us and making us resent or fear each other.

It’s time to start fighting fire with fire. Instead of tolerating attacks on veterans with typical progressive responses like “that’s just his opinion,” we should say, “that blowhard needs to close his yap or lose his job.”

Ann Coulter didn’t support Hillary Clinton for president. But instead of discussing their political differences, Coulter wrote in her August 2006 column that Clinton was probably going to “come out of the closet.” She said there was at least a “50/50 chance.” This was a few weeks after she said former President Bill Clinton “show[s] some level of latent homosexuality” and the day before she called former Vice President Al Gore a “total fag” on MSNBC.

I doubt she meant a British cigarette.

While it is intensely offensive to insinuate that gay is pejorative term, the tactic effectively dissuades logical discussion of issues and derails the opposition.

It’s time to stop fighting back with facts and to adopt Coulter’s – or Limbaugh’s, or whoever’s – method of debate. We should point out that Ann Coulter is a spiteful, wretched, repugnant bag of bile who gets paid to sow discord among otherwise decent human beings. Don’t get me wrong, I’d still prefer that every one of those hate-filled, contemptuous raconteurs lost their jobs, but this way we can just run with what ever chatter they emit, stop worrying about its voracity and use it for our own devices.

Take this past week’s “conservative talk” hosts’ speculations about Russia. Remember it doesn’t matter if what they’re saying is true. We’re just going to take their rantings and act on them.

If you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to them, I’ll tell you what they said. A number of hosts commented that Russia invaded the former Soviet state of Georgia to grab Georgia’s oil. They said Russia wants to use this oil to dominate Western Europe and the U.S. The hosts claimed that we are so addicted to oil that Russia will gain the upper hand and control us by freezing our old people and starving our children.

OK, let’s run with that. We’re addicted to oil and that addiction makes us vulnerable.

These talk hosts tell us that we need to go to war with Iran or some other fun military thing that will keep Halliburton and Blackwater in no-bid contracts forever. But let’s surprise them. Let’s not go to war, let’s end our dependency on oil instead.

It’s just like Ann Coulter’s “fag” buddy, Al Gore, said. If we can prepare for World War II in months instead of decades, we can end our dependency on fossil fuels in decades instead of centuries.

The guys who want to dominate us because of our oil addiction won’t be so pleased. But T. Boone Pickens’ Web site can educate them on how to invest in alternative power and still be rich.

In the meantime, start saving energy now. Obey the speed limit or don’t drive. Demand that Congress provide for the public defense by supporting alternative energy industries, not war.

And shut off unnecessary appliances – starting with any radio or TV tuned to “conservative talk” hosts.

Pat LaMarche of Yarmouth is the author of “Left Out in America: the state of homelessness in the United States.” She can be reached at PatLaMarche@hotmail.com.