You’re going to want to sit down for this. Because what I’m about to tell you is shocking. Believe it or not, there are other things to do at the American Folk Festival on the Bangor Waterfront than shop. I know, I know, it’s a little bit hard to get your head around at first – I was a little surprised to learn that some people go for the music. And the kettle corn. And the dancing.

Amateurs.

Really, who wants to hear dozens of uniquely American bands? What, pray tell, is so exciting about joining a few thousand people in a steel-drum parade? And do they actually need a dance tent? I mean, who likes salsa, polka and contradancing, anyway? Betcha that place is like a ghost town once the sun goes down.

This could be a good thing, because it’s right near the vendor marketplace, which is obviously the only reason most people go to the festival in the first place. With booths like Adornments by Lisa Bess, who sells the coolest jewelry, how could anyone be distracted by the dance tent?

I will say this: The traditional wooden marionettes made by Fort Kent’s Fish River Crafts do make me want to tap my feet. A little. But don’t get the wrong idea. I don’t go to the folk festival to bop. I go there to shop. You’d think it was my job or something. But that would just be ridiculous – I mean, who gets paid to write about shopping, anyway?

But I digress. Let’s get back to the matter at hand: vendors, and lots of them. I’m pretty excited to see my old faves, such as Done Roving Farm & Carding Mill, which sells great yarn and felted items; Wrenovations Stained Glass; Terry Williamson’s wire and semiprecious stone jewelry; and Naturally Bee-Ewe-tiful – don’t even get me started on the beeswax baby line.

I’m even more excited to see a few names I don’t remember from years past. Timberstone Rustic Arts, which makes stone lamps, vases, bookends and accessories, is new to me. So is Kineo Flies, which makes hand-tied flies that are like little works of art. And It’ll be nice to see Classy Iron’s forged metal furniture and accessories.

I’m looking forward to seeing Eclectic Art Designs by Lacey Brown, whose jewelry is inspired by her African-Asian-American heritage. The jewelry by Rocks, Minerals & More should, well, rock. And Molten Mama’s handmade glass beads should be red-hot. I’m pretty fleeced up about Betsey Leslie’s woolens, and I’m intrigued by the idea of Rose Whitehead’s Scandinavian felt and thread creations.

After shopping my way through the festival for six straight years, I’ve learned two things: she who hesitates has lost, and always bring cash or a checkbook, just in case. Actually, make that three things: just because the folk festival is in town, doesn’t mean they roll up the sidewalks in downtown Bangor.

I know, I know, that half-block does seem oh-so-far away, but there are plenty of excellent places to shop in Bangor. Besides, what else would I do? Go to the Maine Discovery Museum? Stop by the Bangor Symphony Orchestra? Take in a show at Penobscot Theatre? Nope, that would be way too much culture for this kid.

Instead, I’ll try on Level 99 jeans at Bella Luna. For the 50th time. I’ll score a great bargain at American Retro. I’ll want everything at Rebecca’s. I’ll covet jewelry at Metropolitan Soul. I’ll ogle a purse at Maureen Elizabeth Handbags. And while I’m at it, I might even treat my feet to a new pair of shoes at The Grasshopper Shop. Not dancing shoes, mind you, but something comfortable.

That way, I’ll have something comfortable to wear while I walk around the festival grounds. But as I said earlier, I’m really just in it for the shopping. I’ll leave the music, the dancing and the fun – did I say fun? I meant food – to those tens of thousands of other people. Let them groove to zydeco. Let them sway to Gospel. Let them eat cake. Ooey Gooey Chocolate Cake from River Drivers, that is.

These people clearly have messed-up priorities. Next thing you know, they’ll be trying to tell us that the arts and culture are a good thing. And that we’ll have loads of fun at the Acadian house party. And that alligator nuggets really taste like chicken.

ShopGirl would love to hear from you! Send questions, comments or suggestions by e-mail to: kandresen@bangordailynews.net, by U.S. mail to Kristen Andresen, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor 04402-1329, or by fax to 941-9476. For exclusive online shopping tips, click on the ShopBlog icon on the bottom of the BDN home page: bangordailynews.com.

kandresen@bangordailynews.net

Folk festival vendors at a glance

Here is a look at the 2008 American Folk Festival Folk Art & Craft Vendors

Adornments by Lisa Bess: hand-etched and painted copper jewelry made from recycled items, www.lisabess.com

Braided Works: hand-braided woolen rugs

Classy Iron: iron candle holders, hooks, shelf brackets, plant holders, sculptures, tables www.classyiron.net

Common Folk Farm Herbs: herbal teas, seasonings, sachets, jams, jellies, butters, catnip products; scone, tea bread and soup mixes; www.commonfolkfarmherbs.com

Done Roving Farm & Carding Mill: felted tube jackets, hand-painted yarns, felted functional art, hooked items, wood rugs, raw fiber kits; www.doneroving.com

Eclectic Art Designs: wire art jewelry; www.eclecticartdesigns.com

Field of Dreams Soaps: handcrafted soap, beeswax tapers, soy candles; www.fieldofdreamssoaps.com

Fine Pine Designs: fine finished hardwood tables, step stools, toys, baskets

Finesse: handcrafted sterling silver and 14k gold jewelry

Fish River Crafts: traditional wooden marionettes; www.marionettes.com

Golden Apple Pottery: wheel-thrown, hand-glazed functional and decorative pottery www.goldenapplepottery.com

Gypsy Moose Glass Co.: lampwork glass figurines, goblets and candlesticks www.gypsymooseglass.com

Habitat for Humanity of Greater Bangor: handmade house pins, gift boxes www.habitatbangor.org

Hand Knotted Linen Jewelry: lovely jewelry pieces

Island Intarsia: intarsia wood artwork and scrollwork of Maine birds, animals and scenes

Jacks Gourmet Pickles and Relish: pickles, relish, jams, jellies and salsa; www.jackspickles.com

Jewelry by Terry Williamson: Sterling silver and 14 karat gold-filled wire craft jewelry

Kineo Flies: hand-tied flies, handmade bait hooks, pictures made with flies

Leatherworkers: leather belts, bags, sheepskin hats and slippers

Maine Bird Carvings: carved decorative decoys, shore birds, Christmas ornaments, magnets, bookends

Maine Coast Herbals: herbal teas, creams, salves, oils, soaps, herbal remedies for pets, mineral makeup; www.maineherbs.com

Mic-Mac Indian Crafts: Native American items, including turtle shell clocks, bags, silver jewelry, dream catchers, horn rattles and other items

Mildred Crocker and Louise Campbell: tatted items, potato beads, jewelry

Molten Mama Lampwork Beads: lampwork beads and jewelry; http://moltenmama.etsy.com

Mountain Mama of Maine: natural herbal personal care products; www.mountainmamaofmaine.com

Native Arts Gallery: Sterling silver wrought with semi-precious stones

Naturally Bee-Ewe-tiful: beeswax-based skincare for men, women and babies; www.naturallybee-ewe-tiful.com

No Repeats by Jo Eaton: crocheted hats, crowns and beanies; www.norepeatsfiberworks.com

Norumbega Woodcarvers: carved ducks, birds, fish, flowers, Maine scenes

Peterson Woodworking: wooden kitchen utensils, bowls and peppermills

Rocks, Minerals & More: wire-wrapped jewelry, cabochon pendants, mineral fountains, light catchers and stone ornaments

Rose Whitehead Fiber Fabrications: hand-felted ornaments, necklaces, hats, purses, pillows, scarves and shawls

Running Brook Farm: natural colored and hand-dyed fleeces for spinners or crafters, yarns, hand-knit garments, patterns

Sew’n Wild Oats: Fleece pillbox hats, winter accessories, children’s clothing and accessories, baby car seat covers, www.fabfleece.com

Stanchfield Farms: all-natural specialty foods, including pickles, relish, chutney, jams, marinades, dips and sauce mixes; www.stanchfieldfarms.com

Worcester’s Wild Blueberries: blueberry jam, jelly, syrup, honey, pie filling, juice drink, blueberry pie slices and fresh berries (in season); www.wildblueberryproducts.com

Wrenovations Stained Glass Creations: stained-glass artwork; www.wrenovations.com

Timberstone Rustic Arts: natural stone vases, furnishings and lamps; www.timberstonerusticarts.com