Parents, suddenly empty nest can still be full of potential

Now is the time when many have dropped off or will shortly deliver children to college. And that means it’s time to come home to the empty nest.

Having faced this myself, I learned that the empty-nest experience need not be simply the emotionally sad “syndrome” that it is popularly thought to be. Instead, it can be a time when a parent’s life takes off in new directions, too. To be sure, there’s a lot of wistfulness on hand. But you need not sing only the blues on this occasion.

Here are my 10 tips for feathering the empty nest.

1. Get ready for the expected at the college. Carry tissues in abundance when you drop off your child at the dorm. Put a box in your child’s dorm room, too.

2. Prepare yourself for poignant moments at home. Plant plenty of tissue boxes around the house. You’ll need them when you empty the washing machine and fail to find one of your son’s ubiquitous single socks in the mix. You’ll reach for them when you pass your daughter’s room and find the bed is made day after day. You’ll be glad they’re on hand when you can hear yourself think because no loud music is playing.

3. Get set for the unexpected. If you thought you’d suddenly have more time on your hands, get ready to marvel at how that time is somehow consumed in doing things at a more reasonable pace, since your hands-on parenting responsibilities are over.

4. Anticipate that your spouse’s reactions may differ from yours. While Mom may melt over missing her daughter’s clothing advice, Dad may quake over missing the teen’s wickedly funny comments at dinnertime.

5. Do something you’ve always dreamed of doing. Learn a new skill, or pursue a new recreational activity.

6. Consider following in your child’s footsteps as you broaden your life. If your daughter led a singing group and used to literally fill your house with song, join a chorus. If your Saturdays used to be filled with attending your child’s team sports, take up exercise or join a team yourself.

7. Develop a sense of humor about your new activities. And use this to stay connected to your child. Send funny e-mails and photos of you emoting as you sing an aria or trying awkwardly to be a jock.

8. Ask your child’s advice. It’s one of the best ways to get them to respond to your phone calls and messages.

9. Take your child’s advice.

10. Remember, fledglings do occasionally return to the nest. Before you know it, it will be Parents’ Weekend and then Thanksgiving.