In theaters

MY BEST FRIEND’S GIRL, directed by Howard Deutch, written by Jordan Cahan, 103 minutes, rated R.

When it comes right down to it, the less said about the new Howard Deutch comedy, “My Best Friend’s Girl,” the better. But in lieu of that, let’s just tackle it, vilify it, screw it to the wall, rip it down and send it back into the sewer from which it came.

More than anything, the movie wants to capture the same raunchy heart of a film produced by Judd Apatow (“The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” “Knocked Up,” “Superbad”), but since Deutch and his screenwriter, Jordan Cahan, fail to possess similar levels of finesse and intelligence, the movie tanks in the absence of each.

Speaking of tanking, the film did just that at the weekend box office. How about that for a surprise? But more prophetically, the tanking doesn’t stop there since the movie also stars Dane Cook as Tank, a man whose methods for re-igniting love among damaged couples are as unconventional as they are uncomfortable to watch.

Since Tank is one of those charismatic bad boys some women with zero sense tend to fall for, he has decided to make something of a career of it. His M.O. is this: When a woman leaves her boyfriend, Tank whores himself out for a price in an attempt to get that woman back into her ex’s arms. Tank does so by wooing her with his smoky, smoldering good looks – and then he turns her off by taking her out on the most revolting date of her life.

The reasons behind all this are as crude as they are simple. By turning her off so violently, the idea is that the woman in question will suddenly snap to her senses and realize that her ex really wasn’t so bad after all.

What that says about women is about as flattering as spandex on a corpse, but here, they’re so stupid, they actually fall for the gimmick. The exception is Kate Hudson’s Alexis, who is dating Tank’s rigid roommate Dustin (Jason Biggs) when she decides to dump him for falling for her too quickly and too hard. Naturally, Dustin hires Tank to work his magic on Alexis. And right there, when these two meet, the movie mounts one massive wave of predictability it never overcomes.

Beyond that little caveat and the fact that the movie doesn’t know what to do with its ongoing run of raunch, which can be funny when done well (Apatow is a master of it) but which here just feels shoehorned into the script to serve its intended audience, is that the movie isn’t funny. That’s its real undoing.

There is one exception in Alec Baldwin, who enjoys a cutting, fleeting cameo as Tank’s father and then gets out before the script can stain him. He’s so good here that within 10 minutes of his leaving, you want to beg the producers to give him a larger part.

But no such luck. “My Best Friend’s Girl” is for another demographic, one who Hollywood believes only wants to see Biggs as a buffoon, Hudson as a ditzy chick and Cook as a creep. Given the film’s disastrous showing at the box office, they might want to reconsider that.

Grade: D

On DVD and Blu-ray Disc

When it comes to the movie version of “Sex and the City,” here’s the thing – since it’s more concerned with being a drama than it is with being a comedy, a more appropriate title might have been “Strife in the City.”

There are funny scenes here, but did it have to be this glum? This serious? Maybe on one level it did. It would, after all, seem a little ridiculous and desperate if Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall), Charlotte York (Kristin Davis) and Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon) hadn’t matured in the four years that have passed since the popular HBO television show ended.

But watching the movie – the middle of which is one depressing, dreary slog of heartbreak and sentiment – it’s difficult not to feel as if the fizz had been let out of a production best known for delivering more than its share of it.

Where, after all, is the sex in this show? It’s rarely happening to these women. Even Samantha, of all people, is forced to be a sexual voyeur. While the film is involving enough to never be dull (it is, after all, nice to see the girls again), some might long for more of the film’s sharper, bawdier scenes, such as when Miranda’s lack of personal grooming recalls the television series at its best. In the end, the movie seems oddly small when compared to what came before it. Now, it’s as if we’re in a bedroom community, with the film’s fifth character – New York City – barely allowed to leave its mark.

Also on DVD are several television shows, including the very good first season of the comedy-action series “Chuck,” which stars Zachary Levi in an espionage series just tipsy enough to be unique; the unintentional comedy series “Cashmere Mafia: Complete Series,” which saw only one season because, well, the cashmere in this “Sex and the City” knockoff felt a lot like wool; and the fifth season of “One Tree Hill,” which essentially takes the angst of several polished twentysomethings, tosses it into a blender, hits “puree,” and serves it up neat to its core audiences of teens. It’s ripe, but the familiar challenges these boobs face helps it to succeed.

Rounding out the week is the terrific, complete collection of the mystery series “Agatha Christie’s Poirot: The Definitive Collection,” which includes all twelve feature films from A&E, the best of which are “Five Little Pigs,” “After the Funeral” and “Death on the Nile.” As Hercule Poirot, David Suchet comes to the part prepared to move within worlds in which fine silver is placed either on linen-covered tables or stuck deep within someone’s back.

He can handle each.

WeekinRewind.com is the site for Bangor Daily News film critic Christopher Smith’s blog, DVD giveaways and archive of hundreds of movie reviews. Smith’s reviews appear Mondays, Fridays and weekends in Lifestyle, as well as on bangordailynews.com. He may be reached at Christopher@weekinrewind.com.

NEW TO DVD

Renting a DVD? BDN film critic Christopher Smith can help. Below are his grades of recent releases. Those in bold print are new to stores this week.

Baby Mama – B

Deception: D+

Definitely, Maybe – B+

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly – A

Drillbit Taylor – B-

Forbidden Kingdom – B-

Forgetting Sarah Marshall – B-

Iron Man – A-

Jumper – D

Juno – A-

The Kite Runner – B-

Lars and the Real Girl – B+

Leatherheads – B-

Lust, Caution – C

Michael Clayton – A-

National Treasure: Book of Secrets – C+

Never Back Down – D

No Country for Old Men – A

The Other Boleyn Girl – B-

Penelope – B-

Persepolis – A-

Prom Night – D

The Ruins – C+

The Savages – B+

Semi-Pro – BOMB

Sex and the City: B-

Shine a Light – A-

Son of Rambow – B

Speed Racer – D-

The Spiderwick Chronicles – C+

Stop-Loss – B-

There Will Be Blood – A

Vantage Point – C-