I did a Web search for the world’s dullest person – I wanted to let him or her know that this past Friday they lost their title. There actually is a Web site that corrected my errant thinking by stating the obvious. See, once the dullest person in the world has been found, the fact that they’ve earned a superlative makes them less dull and the runner-up takes over.

Seems once you’re named the world’s dullest, you instantly become more interesting.

If I could though, I’d nominate two guys for the title. And if that made them more interesting, so be it – they need all the help they can get. I mean, of course, Sens. John McCain and Barack Obama.

Did you watch Friday’s debate?

I found myself pulling the table into the center of the room, lighting a candle, turning out the lights and channeling the soul of the 1992 vice presidential candidate, Admiral James Stockdale.

When it comes to politics, no-life politicos like me are pretty hard to disappoint. Anything – and I mean anything – is interesting. And what a week for a debate: what with securities falling faster than autumn leaves in Maine.

I know, I know, it was a debate on foreign policy. But it sure seems to me that the U.S. being in debt to foreign countries might influence said policy.

Did you miss Stockdale, too? And actually this was a presidential debate so it’s Ross Perot that we should’ve missed.

You know, I interviewed that little guy a few times – Perot I mean – and while I could never claim to read his mind, I’m pretty sure he would have brought up the irony of using taxpayer funds to give the lion’s share of a trillion dollars to folks who can’t handle money.

Heck, Perot was so fond of calling it like it is, he might even have used the word “welfare.” Why don’t our newspapers and politicians say, “Congress struggles to reach corporate welfare agreement” instead of telling us about the “bailout”? If they gave a little family a few hundred bucks a month to help make ends meet or buy groceries they’d call it welf… oh wait, they do call it welfare.

See, I was missing Perot and Stockdale because they were the last political outsiders allowed to debate in the national general election. Coincidentally, they were the last ones to say anything interesting. But some folks think the Perot-Stockdale participation made Bill Clinton president – the so called “spoiler” effect – and these observers decided to take control of the debates. Everyone went along because, just like the “most dull” competition, one would win and the other would be second and the title would just flip back and forth between the two.

The Commission on Presidential Debates emerged and now a group of elites handle all those pesky participation decisions. No longer does the League of Women Voters decide, instead it’s a select few and their sponsors. Yes, sponsors. Friday’s debate was brought to you by Anheuser Busch and the International Bottled Water Association, among others.

Go to the commission’s Web site. The complete list is there – including the Howard G. Buffet Foundation. Howard doesn’t just pay for the debates – he also sits on their board of directors.

You’d know Howard better by his dad: Warren. Warren Buffet was in the news this week. Check out the Wall Street Journal. Its opening paragraph reads, “Fabled investor Warren Buffett took advantage of the turmoil in the markets last week to make a shrewd $5 billion investment in the beleaguered but best-run major Wall Street securities firm, Goldman Sachs.”

Nice to know the “turmoil” is paying off for somebody.

Maybe the fact that Warren made a killing on Wall Street has nothing to do with his son deciding whether legitimate third party candidates get to debate. And maybe keeping Libertarian, Constitution and Green Party candidates out of the debates has nothing to do with whether one of them might have mentioned the “corporate welfare” from which folks like Warren can make so much money.

Maybe none of it’s related at all.

Oh, by the way, Congress called. They want to buy you some swampland in Florida.

Pat LaMarche of Yarmouth is a spokeswoman for The Olympia Group and its campaign for a casino in Oxford County. She may be reached at PatLaMarche@hotmail.com.