Campaign to help domestic violence victims

Libraries have always been wondrous places, where a world of knowledge can be found in one building. Libraries can provide a comforting place for everyone from children seeing “Spot run” for the first time to college students doing research to seniors reading magazines and newspapers and dabbling online.

Now, thanks to the Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence, libraries may be lifesaving. The MCEDV is an organization that represents the nine domestic violence projects in Maine.

“We are dedicated to the empowerment of domestic violence victims, and their children, while working for changes in society that are necessary in order to eliminate personal, institutional and cultural violence,” said Deborah Chapman, associate director for MCEDV.

“The Statewide Library Outreach Campaign is an exciting project that is designed to reach people who may need assistance but don’t know where to find it,” she said. “By offering books and resource information, a person in a violent relationship may be able to get help more easily.” Or at least realize that help is actually available.

Domestic violence does not discriminate. It is a problem in every aspect in our society, even age.

Seniors face unique issues surrounding domestic violence, Chapman added. While some of the barriers to getting help are universal, older women face some that are specific to their generation.

“Many older women have never worked before, or very little, so they may not even be receiving Social Security on their own,” said Chapman. “And generally, as a group, they are less likely to involve help from the outside.”

According to the National Center on Elder Abuse, other barriers older battered women face include:

. Fear of alienating or losing caregiver.

. Adult children discouraging them from taking action.

. Divorce not being viewed as a viable option for the elderly.

. Fear of being placed in a nursing home.

. Fear of losing home or property if they do seek a divorce.

. Lack of affordable housing.

For some seniors, the abuse may have been going on for decades, and now is a way of life. As the attitudes of acceptable behavior in our society change and evolve, “Oh, that’s just the way he is” and “That’s just how he talks, he doesn’t mean anything by it” are no longer viable excuses for mistreatment.

Older women may be reluctant to identify their relationship as abusive or see themselves as battered.

Answering yes to any of the following questions could be a sign of abuse:

. Do you feel powerless to make your own decisions?

. Are you being continually criticized, isolated or denied medical attention?

. Do you walk on eggshells and fear disrupting the peace?

. Are you afraid in your own home?

“A lot of the time a woman, regardless of her age, is just not in a position to leave for reasons very personal to her,” said Chapman. “We suggest that at least the woman have a safety plan. She may never use it, but there is peace of mind having one. And we encourage her to think about what she is going to do when the behavior of the abuser threatens her safety.”

One of the best things to do is to understand the “dynamics of domestic violence, and to understand that it is not your fault,” she added.

“The process of getting past the shame is different for everyone, but help is available. You are not alone, and there are no judgments,” said Chapman.

For information about the domestic violence project in your area, log on to www.mcedv.org or call MCEDV at 941-1194.

Carol Higgins Taylor is director of communications at Eastern Area Agency on Aging. E-mail Higgins Taylor at chtaylor@eaaa.org. For information on EAAA, call 941-2865, toll-free 800-432-7812, e-mail info@eaaa.org or log on EAAA.org. TTY 992-0150.