John McCain is no George Washington

The current administration, listing precipitously, is about to sink, and Captain Bush himself will perform a perfect swan dive from the bridge, leaving the rusting hulk to the salvagers. As the president’s legacy is commended to the deep, attention must shift to John McCain, who would take the helm of the Titanic, in the hope of raising it from the seabed.

The problem is that McCain, despite his naval experience, is behaving like a landlubber befuddled by the prospect of command. His positions change not only from week to week but sometimes within hours, as with his recent pronouncement that the fundamentals of the economy are sound, followed, later in the day, by his declaration that the fundamentals are not sound. In this, as in so much else, he seems confused, if not desperate.

Which begs the question: who is whispering in McCain’s ear (besides the ever-hovering Joe Lieberman)? Are they the same entities who told him that Czechoslovakia is still a country? That Iraq and Pakistan share a border? That the Shiites and Sunni are one and the same?

One would hope that a man so divorced from political realities would select a running mate who would shore up his shaky hold on the facts. Instead, he chose that silly cluck, Sarah Palin.

Long gone is McCain’s Straight Talk Express, now a wreck in the junkyard of yesterday’s ideals. It has been replaced with a dive bomber, on a one-way mission to terrorize the general population.

Take the strange case of kindergarten sex education. Barack Obama said that there should be “age appropriate” sex ed in the schools. Most would agree with this. But Mr. McCain loaded his guns with the contrived horror of 5-year-olds losing their way in a labyrinth of sexual deviancy. Did he know this was a lie? No matter. He had his target in his sights and was on a mission to strike and strike hard, so he did.

After his horrific prison camp experience, his multiple bouts with cancer, his humiliating loss of the Republican nomination to George W. Bush in 2000, and his realization that, at 72, time is no longer on his side, Mr. McCain has nothing to lose by seeking out the low places, the dark drop, and the claustrophobic “town meetings” where one of his supporters referred to Hillary Clinton as a “bitch” and Mr. McCain, ever quick on his feet, could do no more than blink impassively.

I recently finished perusing a biography of George Washington. A blunt reading of the great man’s life shows a character much more interesting than someone who couldn’t tell a lie. Only the day before he died, the former president was in robust health, out and about at Mount Vernon, doing his chores. The year was 1797. The weather was miserable and that night he fell ill. Soon surrounded by family, friends, and physicians, the death watch commenced.

In his final, and perhaps finest, hour he summoned his remaining strength to take charge of the situation, calmly informing the fretful group that he felt himself slipping away. Here were some of his last words: “I feel myself going, I thank you for your attentions; but I pray you take no more trouble about me, let me go off quietly; I cannot last long.” Then he took his own pulse, crossed his arms upon his chest, and departed, the picture of self-possession, maturity, and intelligence.

How did we come to believe that such qualities are liabilities in our leaders? How did we come to prefer candidates as brawlers and drinking buddies, chugging beers and belching platitudes?

Such is the tone of what we have endured for the last eight years, with crippling and embarrassing results for the Republic. And now, with McCain and Palin contorting themselves to pass under the lowest possible bar, we may get to relive this recent past, led ever onward by a man who announces that he knows little about economics. This, in the middle of the gravest economic crisis since the Great Depression.

John McCain, during his Navy career, lost five aircraft. This campaign represents his sixth, but this time he plans to take all of us down with him.

Robert Klose teaches at University College of Bangor. His most recent book is “Small Worlds – Adopted Sons, Pet Piranhas & Other Mortal Concerns.”