The holiday hubbub is soon to begin. It’s often a blur, albeit a festive one. But this year, as you rush to shop and decorate and plan menus for special meals with loved ones, take a moment on Dec. 1 to reflect on, and maybe say a little prayer for, the families who will have an empty place at their holiday table due to AIDS.

Dec. 1 is World AIDS Day. It is a day of understanding, compassion and hope for those living with HIV and AIDS, as well as a day to raise awareness about the disease that has taken so many lives.

Human Immuno-deficiency Virus, or HIV, is the virus that causes Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, or AIDS. The Centers for Disease Control have set forth certain criteria for AIDS which, when met by an HIV-positive person, indicates that the person has developed AIDS. But whatever you call it, the diagnosis is devastating not only to the infected person but also to his or her family and friends.

“Last Christmas Eve was pretty lonesome; I just didn’t feel very joyful,” said Janis McKeen, 72, who lost her eldest son, Dana, 50, on May 28, 2003. “Dana was always here Christmas Eve; he was always looking out for his father and me. The holidays are hard for me now.” Janis’ husband, Darrel, passed away six years ago, and while she has support from her other two sons and various family members, “It’s just a different situation now with Dana and his father gone,” she said.

Dana revealed that he was HIV positive to his parents in 1987, but asked they keep it a secret for fear he would lose his job. Having received complete support and unconditional love when he disclosed at age 16 that he was gay, Dana knew he could count on his parents to be accepting of the news.

“Dana knew his father and I were there for him,” said Janis. “We always supported him, and he knew he could tell us anything. It wasn’t easy keeping [his HIV status] all inside, but we always went along with his wishes.”

Even though Dana’s life was cut short, he lived it to the fullest. He was an avid Petula Clark fan, often whisking his mother across the country for concerts in spite of her fear of flying. His skill at cross-stitching is legendary.

“He was an artist,” said Janis, her voice full of pride. “He made me a doorway with flowers [cross-stitch], and it’s almost like you could step right into it. And he designed one for his father of a lobster boat and actually put his father in it. Dana did so much for us, there is no where I turn in the house without having a memory.”

Dana was tall and lean with old-time movie star chiseled features and a wide smile that could light up a room. And once you have heard him laugh, it’s a sound you never forget.

As time passed, Dana felt ready to tell others of his disease.

“When Dana said we have to be open about this, it crossed Darrel’s and my mind that we hated to tell some people. We weren’t sure how they’d react. But we decided that if they didn’t accept it that it was no lost friendship. And do you know, there were none who didn’t accept us and support us.”

“Everyone thought the world of Dana, and I can’t get over his attitude,” said Janis, tears just at the surface. “He was so good to people and had so much courage. One day he said, ‘I really thought I was going to have more time.'”

We all did.

So as you busy yourself this season and dole out hugs and kisses to your loved ones, keep the Janises and the Danas of the world in your heart.

For information on HIV and AIDS, call the Eastern Maine AIDS Network at 990-3626.

Carol Higgins is director of communications at Eastern Agency on Aging. For information on EAA, call 941-2865.