Last weekend while you slept, our legislators burned the midnight oil looking for new ways to make our lives interesting and our wallets a little lighter.

Turning over rocks in their diligence to find something new to tax, they came up with a directive to the Department of Conservation to develop a “nonconsumptive user permit” system that could be instituted through rule-making to impose fees and permitting requirements on bird watchers, hikers, and those who use the woods for purposes other than hunting or fishing.

And while they were at it, they threw in a $10 annual fee (read tax) on canoes and kayaks. Got more than one canoe or kayak? You pay a fee for each one. Got a sporting camp with 30 or 40 canoes? The cost of doing business in Maine suddenly got more expensive – $300 or $400 more per year. Talk about hitting small business where it hurts.

Fortunately, saner heads prevailed and by Thursday the canoe-kayak fee was stripped from the budget.

I’m sure, though, that it’s not dead.

So, tongue in cheek, here are some other places for our solons to look to squeeze more taxes out of us.

Why not institute a fee for each of those rifles or shotguns have hanging on pickup gun racks? Why not tax bullets and shells as well, since many of them wind up polluting the environment? I’ve seen hundreds of empty plastic shotgun shell casings on coastal shores.

And don’t forget those dry flies and lures fishermen purchase. Many of them wind up lost in the environment as well. If you’re going to pollute you ought to pay. Wardens could count the number of flies you lost on any given trip and assess you a polluting fee.

Or how about taxing the gasoline used by “sports” to fuel their off-road toys. Since the machines wreck trails and clog streams with silt from torn-up trails, they ought to be a great target for new taxes.

Those pesky bird watchers shouldn’t escape either. If they can afford a $900 pair of binoculars, they certainly ought to be able to afford another $10 or $20 tax for using them in Maine. Birdseed shouldn’t escape the taxman either. Slap a hefty tax on each bag of feed. Why shouldn’t someone who gets to enjoy the beauty of nature be made to pay through the nose for it?

Think a tax on looking is far out? Towns along the coast are already slapping homeowners who might be able to see the ocean with a different tax rate. Heaven forbid if you happen to have coastal property, because the taxman has already figured you should pay a much higher tax for that privilege.

Instead of looking for new ways to tax my assets, how about looking at true budget cuts (not trimming the annual increase) and elimination of unnecessary programs. If legislators need some suggestions, send one of the myriad of task forces out on a road trip. If they don’t get a bucketful of solid ideas after visiting about a dozen towns, I’d be surprised.

Since I have to live within my means, I have an idea on how I can fund part of that tax the Legislature wants to levy on my canoe and kayaks the next time the idea rolls around. Instead of shelling out the extra $20 per year fee for conservation plates on my ancient, overexcise-taxed wreck of a car, I think I’ll opt for the ol’ chickadee plates. It’s time for a new bird. I’ll use the extra money to register my sea kayaks.

The Sportsmen’s Show

Meanwhile, back at the ranch … my apologies to The Bard for what follows.

Wallace Pool at the University of Maine in Orono was the stage last Saturday and several of us friends, men and women, were the players. We had our entrances and exits and a couple of us played many parts to demonstrate canoe and kayak safety. To those who attended, I hope our acting was “As You Like It.”

Our brief rehearsals and some last-minute adlibbing were aimed at making you thing twice before heading out on our cold Maine waters – about the boat you’re paddling, about the way you are dressed, about wearing a personal flotation device, and about knowing your skills and limitations.

Karen Francoeur of Castine Kayak Adventures was the ringmaster for both our canoe and kayak demonstrations. Paddling friend Robert Causey and guides Paul Faria and Deb Merrill and yours truly played various roles from fools to friends to drive home the safety message.

Causey and Merrill played the roles of rank amateurs venturing out in a canoe and capsizing. As they flopped around and struggled unsuccessfully to get back in their boat, Francoeur pumped the audience for suggestions on what they could do to get back in – none worked.

Faria and I played the role of saviors, eventually pulling their swamped craft from the water (demonstrating an X-rescue) and assisting them back in their boat, offering them dry clothes and a snack before heading back with them to shore where they could warm up.

Then Faria and I got to show how to right an overturned canoe from under it (The Capistrano Flip), bail it from outside (enough to allow one person to reboard, bail some more, and then allow the second person to reboard). Once both of us were in the canoe, we could finish bailing and get back under way. It worked just fine and I have another set of black and blue marks on my upper arms – this rescue stuff may be ego building, but it’s bruising.

After the canoe demonstration it was time for kayaks. Again the swamping of a recreational kayak and a kayak without bulkheads demonstrated the difficulty you’d have trying to rescue yourself if you capsized away from shore, and how difficult (not impossible) they are to rescue from another boat. The point being that these types of boats shouldn’t be paddled far from shore on cold waters.

In contrast, a kayak with bulkheads fore and aft will remain afloat even with the cockpit full of water and paddler. Use of a paddle float (essential equipment) will help a solo paddler to re-enter a swamped boat and pump (more essential equipment) it dry.

Paddling with a friend also increases your safety margin. Francoeur and I demonstrated how a friend trained in rescue technique can assist another in a capsize situation. We showed a partner rescue and re-entry after a wet-exit.

We also showed how you can assist an overturned friend if you are close by. If you really trust your partner and you keep your wits, you can hang upside down, thump on the bottom of your boat (a signal that you’ve capsized), and move your arms back and forth while your partner races to your side. The rescuer can present the bow of his kayak for the victim to grab (bow rescue) and right themselves. Or the rescuer can come alongside and put his paddle over his deck and the bottom of the overturned boat, guide the victim’s hand to the paddle shaft and provide the platform for the victim to right himself.

If you are using a spray skirt and you don’t exit the boat, you won’t get the cockpit full of water. If you are wearing a dry top, the only thing to get wet is your head. Taking the scenario one step further, knowing how to do an Eskimo roll will get you back upright after a capsize and on your way in seconds.

The farther you venture from shore and the colder the water, the more you need to have the skills of self rescue and the equipment you use needs to be matched to the conditions you will encounter.

Appalachian Trail film showing

Here’s another reminder that Rod Wiley, who works at Epic Sports in Bangor, has organized a free film showing at the Bangor Library from 6 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. Thursday in the lecture hall. He will be showing the video, “5 Million Steps: The Appalachian Trail Thru Hikers Story” by Lynne Whelden. This video is a biography/auto-biography of an Appalachian Trail hiker’s experience. For more information, call Epic Sports at 941-5670.

Maine Canoe Symposium

The 20th annual Maine Canoe Symposium is scheduled for June 10-12 at Camp Winona on the shore of Moose Pond, Bridgton. Here’s a chance to learn about anything canoe. It has been an annual gathering place for canoeists from all over the East Coast and Canada to share their experiences and learn new skills.

You can camp in your own tent, stay in wall tents, or even cabins, and there are various meal plans available. The symposium is set up to be family friendly with a children’s program offered daily.

Whether you want to try out a new canoe, learn how to pole a canoe, try reflector oven cooking, identify wild edibles, or share stories with others, there’s something for everyone. Check out the symposium’s Web site at www.MaineCanoeSymposium.org or call 892-3121 for more information. For information on Camp Winona, check out their Web site at www.winonacamps.com.

Jeff Strout can be reached at 990-8202 or by e-mail at jstrout@bangordailynews.net.