I love James Garner.

I hate James Garner.

Garner (born James Bumgarner) has been the sardonic everyman since his Bret Maverick days in the 1950s, then “Rockford Files” (I loved his trailer) in the 1970s. He made about 500 movies including “The Great Escape” in 1963, “Support your Local Sheriff,” (1969) with the lovely Suzanne Pleshette, “The Americanization of Emily” (1964) with the luscious Julie Andrews and “Murphy’s Romance” (1985) with Sally Field in very tight jeans.

A James Garner movie always had a few laughs. I thought I knew the guy. But no.

Somebody (no names, please) added “The Notebook” to my Netflix Queue.

When I was off in Florida, someone (no names, please) took control of the list of more than 100 flicks on order.

Thinking Garner would not let me down, I sat down to watch “Notebook,” hoping for a few laughs.

Let me preface the story by reporting that a few too many deaths had occurred that week. When they say bad things come in bunches, it is too often true.

The movie opens with our boy James (Duke) reading a long story from a notebook to a reluctant listener in a nursing home. The listener is Allie, played by veteran actress Gena Rowlands. You probably don’t care but “Notebook” was directed by Rowland’s son, Nick Cassavetes.

Allie, who suffers with Alzheimer’s, can’t remember any of the story from one visit to the next. Rowlands looks much too good for an institutionalized Alzheimer’s patient, but that is another story.

The story is an adaptation of the 1996 best seller by Nicholas Sparks, a love tale from the 1940s when a poor boy from North Carolina meets the love of his life during a visit to the fair. Her parents stop the romance, since the boy hasn’t dime one. The boy takes out his frustration by carefully restoring a Southern mansion.

We switch back and forth from World War II to the nursing home notebook several times before it dawns on me. I never said I was too bright. He is reading their life story and she can’t remember a thing. She is clearly annoyed at the constant attention from the notebook reader.

Even I could figure it out when their grandchildren came to visit and Allie asked to be introduced.

The line that got me happened when she had a brief breakthrough and started to remember their life. Knowing that the darkness would come back soon, Allie looks at Duke and asks “How long do we have?”

I don’t know how many of these situations you have been in, but I have been through too many. I have no idea why but this scene destroyed me. I started sniffling then sobbing.

What a wimp.

Blue Eyes was watching the movie with me and she moved away a few spaces while I blubbered. “Good thing we weren’t at the movies,” she said.

All right, I got misty when the Red Sox draped the huge banner over the left-field wall. I always get misty at “Rocky” and the line “Yo Adrian. I did it.” Can’t help it, even after seeing it 35 times.

But I never lost it like I did with the damned “Notebook.”

I consulted the New York Times for guidance. Reviewer James Holden called it “a high-toned cinematic greeting card.”

On the Times Web site, volunteer reviewer Jeb.bob advises “Bring tissues. Allie will make you cry.” Now he tells me.

I have no explanation for my actions.

But I have retaken control of my Netflix queue.

Some good war movies. Maybe “Soprano” CDs.

No more James Garner movies.

I don’t trust him any more.

Send complaints and compliments to Emmet Meara at emmetmeara@msn.com.