What’s the buzz in eastern Maine this spring?

Is it tunics? Metallic ballet slippers? The Louis Vuitton cherry bag?

Um, yeah. Try black flies.

They’re everywhere this season. And anyone who’s anyone is wearing them. All over. Remember “heroin chic”? Well, this is more like “measles chic.” Red spots are all the rage, on faces and limbs from Pittsfield to Fort Kent. And you, too, can have the look everyone’s talking about – if you ignore my advice.

I’m going to tell you what the insect insiders won’t. Just because everyone else is walking around with a swarm of biting bugs in tow doesn’t mean you have to. Be unique. Be bold. Be the only person in the room who isn’t covered in welts.

It all starts with a little common sense and a hefty dose of Lewey’s. I’m anti-DEET, so I’ll try anything that claims to repel insects naturally. Skin So Soft? Been there. Citronella oil? Done that. But Lewey’s (formerly sold under the Buzz-Off label) really gets the job done – and it’s made in Corinna. I got mine at Epic Sports in Bangor for $7.99, and I don’t care if I need to reapply it every few hours. For mosquitoes, Burt’s Bees Herbal Insect Repellent is just the thing ($7.50 at The Grasshopper Shop in Bangor). Much better than wearing a bug suit.

However, for those of you who aren’t averse to wearing netting to occasions other than your wedding, Epic Sports has the full range of bug-beating gear. Still, the Buzz Off line of clothing by Ex Officio is much more my style. It looks like regular outdoor gear (convertible pants, button-down shirts, soft hoodies), but it’s treated with a finish that repels flies, ticks, mosquitoes, chiggers, midges and ants. If you spend a lot of time outdoors, it’s worth the $78.95 price tag.

If you really want to splurge, you could invest in a Mosquito Magnet or a similar insect trap. These contraptions eliminate biting insects from your yard – up to a 1.25-acre area. A friend of mine has one and swears by it. The Mosquito Magnet starts at $500 and is available at The Home Depot, Black Stove Shop and R.H. Foster Fuels in Hampden. The SkeeterVac is available at Sam’s Club and costs about $282.

For something a little more low-tech, I like the old-fashioned wasp traps at The Grasshopper Shop in Ellsworth. They cost $11 and they lure wasps, hornets and other stingers away from you and into a lantern-shaped glass jar filled with sugar water. Sure, it’s a little early for them, but I’m a firm believer in the five P’s (proper planning prevents poor performance, my friends).

I’m also a firm believer in the allure of friendly insects – the ones that don’t bite don’t bug me at all. As a girl, I spent many an afternoon catching grasshoppers and daddy longlegs in my back yard. Two things that would’ve made it better (and easier, for me and my many-legged friends) are Ento’s Nature House ($16.95) and Insect Collecting Kit, complete with net, tweezers and a mounting board for fascinating specimens, both available at Park’s Hardware in Orono.

Too Much Fun at the Maine Discovery Museum also has a wonderful selection of toys and kits for the budding entomologist.

For adults, I suggest the last line of defense: black fly amulets designed by Ginny Whitaker. These whimsical beaded pins cost $4 and are available at The Store-Ampersand in Orono. I’m not sure if they’ll ward off the bugs, but who cares? Like I said, black flies are the ultimate accessory this season.

ShopGirl would love to hear from you! Send questions, comments or suggestions by e-mail to: kandresen@bangordailynews.net, by U.S. mail to: Kristen Andresen, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor, ME 04402-1329, or by fax to: 941-9476. Tune in to ShopGirl at 5 p.m. Fridays on WLBZ-2.