I have recently returned to my summer home in Millinocket after a two-month stay at my other home in San Diego, Calif. In Maine I have seen friends and family and taken time to heal from a gut-wrenching tragedy that occurred in my life three months ago.

On May 26 my daughter and I were awakened at 5 a.m. with a phone call from a local hospital. We were informed that my beloved grandson, Nolan, had been in a terrible automobile accident which left him in a coma. We were advised to come to the hospital as soon as possible because it didn’t look good for Nolan to survive this crash. He and his two best friends, who were in his car with him, had been to a party the night before to celebrate a friend’s 19th birthday.

There was alcohol served to these minors and according to their blood alcohol levels, all three of them were highly inebriated. Nolan and his two friends got into his car and went joy riding even though he knew it was wrong to drink and drive. He was driving at a high rate of speed through a residential area and failed to stop at a stop sign.

As he crossed the intersection he nearly hit an oncoming car that had the right of way. That driver was a 20-year-old college senior. In his efforts to avoid hitting the driver, Nolan over-corrected his turn and went sideways into a tree while traveling at a speed exceeding 60 mph. The velocity with which Nolan hit the tree was equivalent to 650,000 pounds of thrust.

The car wrapped around the tree, then split in half. The young man in the back was thrown out of the car and was later found unconscious about 50 feet away. His other friend, who had fallen asleep in the front passenger seat, suffered a broken hand and received several lacerations. Nolan was thrown into the roof of the car and suffered severe brain trauma when the roof caved in on him.

None of them were wearing seat belts. The fire department had to use the jaws of life to remove Nolan from the car. He was bleeding profusely and was unconscious when they brought him into the hospital. He was so badly hurt that the hospital staff that tended to him in ICU could not tell what he looked like because every bone in his face was broken. I had to show them his graduation picture for them to have some idea of what he looked like. Nolan was placed on life support on the slim chance that he might survive the accident.

He remained on life support for 30 hours and then his mother and father made the painful decision to remove him from life support. Nolan died at 1:07 p.m. on May 27. He was only 18 years old, as was one of his friends, and he was just beginning to make his own decisions. Unfortunately, he made a very bad choice and did not live to correct his mistake.

His life was shortened at such a young age because he and his friends thought they were invincible and once they were drunk, they no longer were able to act responsibly and the result was death for Nolan and serious injury to one of his friends. The other two boys survived and are on the mend. But they are living with the tragedy of losing their best friend.

I have shared my story with you because, like some of the high school seniors from Stearns High School who were out partying and illegally consuming alcohol, they were lucky that none of them was seriously hurt or killed as a result of wanting to enjoy their rite of passage. I am appalled at the attitude of some of the parents who were indignant because the police were called. I wonder how they would have felt if they had been called by the local hospital and were told that one of their children was in a coma and not expected to live as a result of drinking illegally, then driving under the influence and getting into a car crash. They should thank God their children were spared.

In case you might be wondering, I have more than 20 years as a substance abuse counselor working with drunken drivers and drivers who were under the influence of drugs. I have never found any legitimate reason that makes it OK to drink and drive.

I would like each of you who have teenage children who are just learning how to drive to learn by your example that it is against the law for you and for them to drive under the influence. Their rite of passage could be fatal.

Judy Nadeau Ward lives in Millinocket.