Editor’s Note: The many responses we’ve received to this new feature have included some very personal accounts from former drug users, family members and others whose lives have been affected by substance abuse. We invite you to read their stories here from time to time, and to consider sharing your own. We may edit your submission for length and clarity.

We moved to Maine a year ago. We came without our 16-year-old son because he was in a drug treatment facility; he had gone to a wilderness program for two months, followed by four months at a residential high school. Our son had been using drugs – serious drugs – for months without our knowledge, though we knew something was wrong based on grades and attitude.

After we sent him away, when his behaviors had become so severely violent that we couldn’t excuse them any longer, several people admitted that they knew he was using, but didn’t want to “interfere” by telling us. Teachers admitted that they had smelled alcohol on his breath or pot on his clothing, that he had essentially slept his way through classes in the spring, but they didn’t know how to tell us. They just didn’t think it was their place to “get involved.”

We write to you this beautiful day in August to say: Interfere, people of Maine. Get involved. The more people who TELL, who stop and SAY SOMETHING, the more likely we’ll reduce drug use.

I grew up in Maine and felt that returning to “small town life” would enable us to rebuild our lives, which had been torn apart by drugs. If I had had so much as a beer in high school in any public place, several neighbors would have called my parents before I had time to get home. Teachers from school regularly walked downtown at lunch and pulled truant kids from parks and other hangouts and yanked them back to class. Students hated that, but what a service it was for parents. People seem to have moved away from that caring attitude to one of “if I get involved, the parents will yell at me and tell me it’s none of my business.” Well, maybe so. But maybe the parent will thank you, and maybe you’ll save a life.

Drug use doesn’t just happen in families where the parents don’t care. We are a family where both parents are professionals, and we’ve both been very involved in the schools as volunteers and coaches. Our child was a decent student who seemed to be heading for a terrific life when he decided to try drugs and became addicted. He didn’t plan a life of fighting drug addiction, but because of some bad choices, that’s what his life has become. Through treatment he is now putting his life back together; we’re hopeful that his future is bright again.

If we had known sooner, would he have gone as far down the slippery slope as he did? We are not blaming school officials or townspeople. Of course, we blame ourselves, but we wonder – if more people had told us earlier on, could we have intervened sooner? One teacher told us that “if she were to pick ten students out of her class that would use drugs,” our son wouldn’t have been one. He had everything going for him: He was an athlete, good-looking and popular among the other students. He had a girlfriend, and was well-loved by his family. No red flags were there until he had spent a spring staggering to class. No teacher came forward to tell me until I saw our son’s grades and called them, and they suddenly had lots to tell.

We need to communicate, folks, and we need not fear how the information will be received. So many parents are afraid their kids will hate them for getting involved; are we going to wait until we hate ourselves at the funeral?

Send comments about “Finding a Fix” by calling 990-8291 or e-mailing findingafix@bangordailynews.net.

Excerpts from reader responses to “Finding a Fix.”

I hope you will find space in your column to recommend the 12-step program Al-Anon. The relatives or friends of addicts who are open-minded enough to go to meetings find great comfort there. It’s almost free, available everywhere and saves lives. … Keep putting the word out to suffering mothers, fathers, siblings and addicts. Miracles do happen, and we can all help. – Mary M., Jamaica Plan, Mass.

“Rx drugs must be used wisely” [Bangor Daily News- 8/25/05] was an excellent, timely article. To the list of the ‘conditions of life,’ I would also add chronic [noncancer] pain. This has been sold by those with a vested interest, such as the opioid drug companies and certain pain “experts,” as an “illness unto itself” which is present in 50 million Americans who have “under-treated pain,” which often “needs” opioid analgesia. …We now have to deal with a growing population of prescription addicts and “chemical copers” who believe that they are “entitled” to their drugs and don’t have to try nondrug therapies if they desire not to. At this rate, pills will replace the potential of the mind in the majority of our population as our nation heads toward further decline from “better living through chemistry.” – Stephen G. Gelfand, M.D., Myrtle Beach, S. C.