Visit WeekinRewind.com, the new archive of Bangor Daily News film critic Christopher Smith’s reviews, which are featured each week in the DVD Corner.

“THE ADVENTURES OF SHARKBOY AND LAVAGIRL”: Remedial and repetitive, a simpering hive of connect-the-dot chaos that’s hell to endure. It goes nowhere, it’s dull, the acting is sub par and the special effects, if you can call them that, appear to have been purchased at Dollar Tree. From Robert Rodriguez, whose “Spy Kids” series was so good and whose “Sin City” stands tall as one of this year’s better films, “Sharkboy & Lavagirl” is based on a script inspired by Rodriguez’s 7-year-old son, Racer Max. The indulgence shows. Even if you didn’t know going into the film that it was conceived by a child, you’d likely sense something was askew the moment the movie detoured into the Land of Milk and Cookies, for instance, or Planet Drool. Those who believe you need to be a kid to appreciate the film’s “simple pleasures” are dumbing down the majority of children, who have seen better storylines and character development on their PS2s, and who know it when they’re being conned, as they are here. With Cayden Boyd as picked-upon Max, Taylor Lautner and Taylor Dooley as Sharkboy and Lavagirl, and George Lopez as an evildoer who wants – oh, I don’t know, probably to rule the universe – this movie is never more than bogus, low-tech dreck. Rated PG. Grade: D-

“INSIDE DEEP THROAT”: Forget “Titanic.” According to the entertaining documentary “Inside Deep Throat,” the most financially successful movie of all time turns out to be the 1972 porn film “Deep Throat,” in which Linda Lovelace became a star for reasons she’d sooner like to forget. The production was financed by the mafia, always there when you need them most, which makes this one of the most defining and corrupt of American success stories. From Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato, this provocative documentary comes from Universal Studios and it wears its NC-17 rating like a badge. It makes Chloe Sevigny’s performance in “The Brown Bunny” look like kiddie time. Sort of. Moments are just as graphic as you might expect, but if put into a historical context – the movie pushed porn into the mainstream, with suburban couples attending screenings of the film in droves – it’s nevertheless a worthwhile subject. There will be the temptation to dismiss “Deep Throat” as trash, which it certainly is on one level, but trash has always been pop culture’s gem; here, it shines. Gore Vidal, Camille Paglia, Norman Mailer, Dr. Ruth, John Waters, Hugh Hefner and Helen Gurley Brown, among a host of others, go to sound lengths to illustrate and defend a film whose storied history continues to deepen. Rated NC-17. Grade: B+

“THE LONGEST YARD”: Nothing in this prison football comedy is as interesting as what has become of Burt Reynolds’ face. It’s something of a shock, this face of his, as it appears to have been stretched tighter than a pair of Daisy Dukes. Just try to look away from it. If you can, you’ll find a remake of the 1974 Reynolds hit of the same name, with Adam Sandler in the role Reynolds played before him. Here, he’s Paul “Wrecking” Crewe, a ruined quarterback for the NFL who once threw a game and who now is incarcerated after leading police on a high-speed chase that ends in wreckage. Sent to a Texas prison, Paul is recruited by the sadistic warden (James Cromwell) to form a football team composed of inmates. His job is to train them against the guards in a game aired on national television. Will he sell out again and throw the game? Viewing the original isn’t exactly necessary to know the answer. Laced with crude racial stereotypes and a rash of homophobia that’s akin to a minstrel show, “The Longest Yard” makes Sandler’s other football film, “The Waterboy,” look like an oasis in comparison. Here, he’s a straight man to Chris Rock’s Caretaker, whose job is to deliver clever asides, which he does like the good sidekick he is. Rock is so sharp, he lifts the film. A better movie would have broken ranks, switched it up, and featured Rock in the lead. A recommended movie would have axed Sandler and given an expanded role to Cloris Leachman as Lynette, the warden’s saucy secretary, whose hair is piled as high as her sex drive and whose go-for-broke performance is the best part of the show. Rated PG-13. Grade: C

“SCARY MOVIE 3.5”: This is just a stab in the dark, but Michael Jackson probably wouldn’t recommend “Scary Movie 3.5,” a retooled version of the 2003 hit that has a grand time sending up the fallen pop star. Included here are scenes in which a shrieking Jackson look-alike (Edward Moss) is dangled from a second-story window and asked how he likes it. Later, what’s left of his nose is hacked off for good. Tough times for the King of Pop, but not so for Pamela Anderson, who has the good sense to poke a little fun at herself and her ballooning breasts in the film’s funny opening scene. It’s this mix of silliness and savagery that makes up the heart of “Scary Movie 3.5,” a ripe, post-modern parody that’s so eager to please, you can’t keep it down. It wants to have its cake and gorge on it, too. The jokes are sometimes overwhelmed with excess and bad taste, which tends to stifle the laughs. Still, when they do find their mark, they explode onscreen. The cast – Charlie Sheen, Simon Rex, Leslie Nielsen, Queen Latifah, others – are all game, filling out a plot that blends elements of alien infestation, the supernatural, the very real horror of white rap star wannabes, and government cover-ups. Included here are a new feature commentary track, new outtakes and bloopers, and, to quote the advertising material, “raunchier, funnier, sexier deleted and extended scenes.” In this case, “Scary Movie 3.5” lives up to its hype. Rated R. Grade: B