November 23, 2024
Column

DVD Corner

“The Devil’s Rejects”: If you dig this sort of gross-out throwback to the horror movies of the ’70s, by all means, accept “The Devil’s Rejects.” The film, from director Rob Zombie, whose “House of 1,000 Corpses” delivered what it promised, “The Devil’s Rejects” also follows suit, coming through with its share of murdering-hillbilly-Mansonesque rejects who go on a tear. It’s a movie for fans of such B-movie horror classics as “Motel Hell,” “Cannibal Holocaust,” “Street Trash,” “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “I Spit on Your Grave.” All are outlaw horror movies that exist on their own terms, raising the dead with a rebel spirit that can be entertaining if you’re of a mind for this sort of thing. If you’re not – or if you don’t have a clue of what I’m talking about – then by all means, reject this one. Rated R. Grade: B

“Kingdom of Heaven”: A middle-of-the-road, anti-war movie about the Crusades from Ridley Scott. The film puts an affectionate, understanding arm around Christians and Muslims – treating each equally in an attempt to offend as few people as possible – before it allows them to enter into one ugly, bloody holy war for Jerusalem. With the film set in the Middle East, timeliness is one of its strong suits. Its substantial length isn’t. The film begins well, but it loses its way in a soft middle before ending with a technical flourish. As Mel Gibson proved with “The Passion of the Christ,” a point-of-view still is possible in Hollywood when it comes to religion, even if it promises to cause a firestorm of controversy. Scott isn’t up for that sort of press – he’d rather get to the battlefield, where his skills flourish, than to stir a pot already overboiling between Christianity and Islam – and so he crafts a good-looking movie that’s politically safe first, entertaining second, with fine performances from Orlando Bloom, Liam Neeson, Edward Norton, and Jeremy Irons. Still, you wish Scott had been more daring, offered more of a comment on the times, but really, in the end, nothing he does thematically competes with his rhythmic swordplay or with the many catapults that ultimately show up at the walls of Jerusalem. As their huge, fiery globes sail across the sky and hit their mark with devastating force, the audience will finally move as Scott meant to move them-forward in their seats. Rated R. Grade: B-

“The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”: A coming-of-age story about four teenage girls going through their share of growing pains, with the pants in question, a worn pair of Levi jeans, serving as a catalyst that connects their adventures over the course of an eventful summer – the first these lifelong friends spend apart. Initially, the jeans don’t appear to be anything special, which in the real world must mean they cost a fortune. But no. Found at a thrift store, the jeans aren’t only cheap but also have the benefit of fitting all of these girls perfectly in spite of their broad range of body types. Throughout the summer, the girls have promised to share the jeans, sending them to each other by FedEx so each can have their adventures in them. That isn’t as racy as it sounds. What ensues is a big story filled with enough life lessons and tears to come apart at the seams, but the good news is that it doesn’t. The film mines all of the ensuing potholes and pitfalls with a quick pace and without a trace of cynicism. Earnest and well-acted, “Pants” slavishly serves its target audience of preteen girls, for sure, but unlike so many recent movies geared for that crowd, it at least sees its intended audience as real people with real problems and issues. Particularly good is America Ferrera, but the other actresses also are memorable, as is this: That a movie about pants features a story that skirts formula is an irony worth savoring. Rated PG-13. Grade: B

“Unleashed”: A howler, with Jet Li as a confused, embattled orphan named Danny who is raised by his brutish Uncle Bart (Bob Hoskins) to be nothing short of a killer dog. That’s the good news. At 42, Li still is nimble, still clever behind the kick. His blows are precise, elegant, deadly. It’s when he’s called upon to act that things get deadlier. Essentially, this is an action movie weepy, which sounds every bit as misguided as it is. After a violent start, the movie sags into marshmallow land with cutesy-pie scenes of awkward character building, the likes of which can be repellently heartwarming as Li is set adrift within them. Set in Glasgow, the film follows Danny as he breaks free from his life of crime with Bart and comes to live with an adoptive family – Morgan Freeman’s Sam and his stepdaughter, Victoria (Kerry Condon). Aware that they are dealing with a fragile soul – the metal collar cinched around Danny’s neck is something of a giveaway – Sam and Victoria allow him the room he needs to breathe while he sorts out his life. He won’t have long to do so. Seething in the subplot is Bart, who has worked up a sweat in his ferocious vow to get Danny back regardless of the blood shed and the lives lost. Meanwhile, Danny is a naif in utopia, flirting with Victoria over ice cream while working to reconnect with the world. What he finds are revelations about his mother (painful), the sort of dialogue that sets the movie on its can (atrocious), and the proper way to thump a melon (helpful). “Ripe means sweet!” Danny says as he taps a piece of fruit. “And sweet means good!” If only that were true for the movie, Danny boy. Here, ripe means rot, sweet means cloying, and good doesn’t even come close to describing all that follows. Rated R. Grade: C-


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