When we think of young bullies, we usually think of boys, who tend to use physical aggression to intimidate the more vulnerable children around them and generally make life miserable for their victims.

Less visible in our society, however, though equally destructive in their effects, are girls whose methods so often are used to hurt one another in an effort to test their own burgeoning sense of power, influence and social standing among the peers they hope to impress. While they may not necessarily do it through physical dominance, as boys might, their psychological arsenal of betrayal, exclusion, rumor-mongering, teasing and harassment can pack a devastating wallop nonetheless.

Just ask any middle-school girl who suddenly has been made an outcast for the way she looks, acts or thinks, sometimes by the very girls whom she once thought of as friends and confidantes.

“It’s a lot more complex a problem than many people recognize,” said Sharon Barker, the director of the University of Maine’s Women’s Resource Center. “Because we tend to think of bullying among boys, we often miss the similar dynamic that occurs more subtly among girls within their relationships with other girls.”

Barker will moderate a campus conference on Oct. 22 that will explore some of the societal factors that may pressure girls to bully and hurt one another in order to compete for their place in a culture that places far too much value on unrealistic feminine ideals of beauty, romance and perfection. Among the speakers will be Mary Madden, an assistant research professor at UMaine’s College of Education and Human Development, and Lyn Mikel Brown, a Colby College professor of education and a leading expert on the pervasive though largely ignored problem of “girl fighting.”

Madden and Brown will conduct a workshop about the research-based curriculum they have developed in the last two years, now being launched in 10 Maine pilot schools, to help girls understand how to relate to one another more as allies than adversaries and to challenge the negative stereotypical messages that too often lead to cruel behavior. An afternoon workshop, featuring Oregon researcher Annette Klinefelter, will address similar problems at the elementary-school level, where even the youngest girls are exposed to this damaging “relational aggression” that they might engage in and fall victim to one day.

“It’s true that girls look to their friendships for a great deal of support, and the intimacy between girls and women is well-documented,” Barker said. “But it’s also true that everyone is interested in how they can feel powerful and strong, and girls test that through relationships, where they feel safer, rather than through physical aggression.”

In an effort to feel important and included, Barker said, girls may exclude other girls from their social circles or criticize them for their appearance, clothes, bodies, sexuality, personalities or for simply not adhering to proscribed group norms. An attempt to divert one’s own feelings of insecurity and self-doubt, in other words, by targeting someone more vulnerable.

“If they focus on being outspoken, strong and assertive, that may be held against them,” Barker said. “Or if they act too feminine, too girly, they may be criticized for not being serious enough. Unfortunately, it all perpetuates the system. We should encourage girls to be strong, powerful and creative individuals without them having to pay the price for it.”

For information about the Oct. 22 conference, to be held at the D.P. Corbett Business Building, call the UMaine Women’s Resource Center at 581-1508.