You had to see it coming.
After 86 years, the Red Sox finally won it all in 2004. Some people thought the “curse” had been broken and it was going to be easy. We were going to beat the Yankees every year and live happily ever after. Hah.
Last year, everyone but Terrence Fitzpatrick recognized that the Yankees won the Eastern Division as they have for something like nine years in a row. Fitzpatrick, who owes me $50 on our annual Boston-New York bet, refuses to pay.
Actually, no one ever seems to pay the annual bet, made during spring training. By the time September and October roll around, no one can remember exactly what the bet was.
Last year was a predictable disaster. The 2004 World Series heroes developed feet (and ankles) of clay. First, Curt Schilling refused to heal from his ankle injury. Then Keith Foulke took half the year off and didn’t even come back to watch the playoffs. He’s gone. Manny Ramirez was, of course, Manny Ramirez. He pouted, hid in the left field fence and asked to be traded. He’s gone.
That was for openers. Certainly, our boy wonder, general manager Theo Epstein, would right the ship, make a few sensational sightings and bring up some teenage phenoms to round out the 2006 team. After all, he was instrumental in forming the 2004 World Series victory, even having the nerve to trade away Nomar Garciaparra, once the hero of the team. He would save us. Hah.
In a return to form, the Red Sox bungled the contract negotiations with Epstein and he resigned on Halloween, actually leaving Fenway Park dressed in a gorilla costume to avoid the voracious Boston press.
Now that’s a Red Sox move. Leaving the office dressed in a King Kong outfit. A return to 86-year form.
Manny is halfway out the door, upset at all that adulation. Center fielder Johnny Damon wants a trillion dollars even though he throws like a T-ball player and is also headed for the door. If you add another 86 years to 2004, the Red Sox will win it all again in 2090.
2090.
What do I tell my charming grandchildren, Mattie and Meara (born on my birthday), about the Olde Town Team? Do I stop buying all those Red Sox hats and T-shirts? Do I tell them to seek other summer adventures such as canoeing, kayaking, swimming and swatting black flies? Do you do your descendants a disservice by introducing them to this baseball madness? Is the pain of losing for 86 years worth the extreme pleasure of a single World Series victory? Is it going to snow in Fort Kent?
If you are going to live in New England, you simply have to at least endure, if not embrace, the damned Red Sox. As I used to tell my children, when they listened to me, once you get by your family (especially the Twomeys), the rest of your life will be easy.
I will tell the grandchildren that once they get by their families, then the Red Sox, the rest of their lives will be a walk in the park. What are grandfathers for?
Send complaints and compliments to Emmet Meara at emmetmeara@msn.com.
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