The holidays can be an extremely dangerous time of year. Depression, stress and anxiety claim their highest tolls in the holiday season. It’s easy to lose perspective and become a statistic to these terrors of the yule time.

That’s when you need to stop and ask yourself, “What’s it all about?” Then take a minute to regain your perspective and do the right thing.

What is the Christmas season all about? God? Jesus? Church? Family? Is it about me? Of course not, you say! But is it? Don’t we make it what we want it to be? Gifts, feasts, shopping, colored lights and parties.

The Christmas season should be about doing something really important. Something totally for someone else.

Recently, I met a very special young man who helped me pause, just long enough to gain some perspective, discern the important from the selfish, and then do the right thing.

This incredible young man’s name is Jairo De Sausa. You may have heard of him, or at least read about his story. About a month ago, a state trooper was responding to a call over the treacherous early morning roads in Ellsworth. The trooper lost control of his vehicle, skidded across the road and hit an oncoming car. Jairo and two other men were on their way to work in that car and his life was changed forever. Among other injuries, his back was broken and he is paralyzed from the waist down for life.

Jairo was a laborer, though he never will be again. He’s originally from Brazil and speaks only Portuguese. He recently turned 33 years old. He has family in Massachusetts and Brazil. Suddenly, Jairo found himself faced with the reality that he will never walk again. He will never have feeling in his legs again, never be able to control his bodily fluids, never be able to fulfill certain dreams, and never be able to walk to the store or even cross the room without great effort.

Understandably, Jairo went through a brief period of depression, but since then has faced reality and makes the best of his situation every day. Jairo has a contagious sense of humor and truly brightens the days of those fortunate enough to meet him. A natural flirt, Jiardo loves to tell his female visitors how beautiful they are and has currently proposed to three nurses, inviting them to return to Brazil with him.

My wife is one of a number of interpreters under contract with the hospital to assist them with Jairo. We visited him on Thanksgiving and brought him a little turkey dinner. The visit was the best part of my holiday. He told me he’s too thick in the head to learn English, so I have to learn Spanish or Portuguese, but I assured him that my head is every bit as thick as his. Fortunately we don’t need language to be amigos.

Naturally my wife and I feel bad for Jairo and the situation he is in, but we don’t feel that he needs our pity or charity. He’s stronger than I’ll ever be and his persona inspires me and gives me strength to face my own life “situations”, as mild as they may be. Jairo proudly wears a Maine baseball cap turned backward on his head as he speeds down the hallways of Eastern Maine Medical Center doing wheelies in his wheel chair.

But life is different. Sometimes when he sits in his hospital bed with his legs hanging lifelessly over the side, he reflects on how one day, in a matter of seconds, his ability to walk was lost forever. With a surreal and melancholy tone, he asks “what woman would want a man with no feeling below the waist?” Mi amigo, I think a very lucky woman.

Jairo understands the value in the little things in life, and he’s helped me to regain perspective in my life. Reflecting on my life and all the stress and anxiety the coming holiday season will visit upon me, I realize very little compares to the vital necessity of being a friend. Christmas will come and the holidays will pass, but in the end very little else really matters.

So what is the Christmas season really about? I think Jesus would say it’s about doing something for a friend. I think he’d tell us to value each other and everything else will fall in place.

So what will you do for the holidays? I hope you do something important. If you don’t have a Jairo in your life, I know he’d be more than happy to help you out. He has a small photo album and really enjoys receiving photos. He was very touched when my wife gave him photos of us and our children, children he doesn’t even know and may never meet. So if you’re having a problem finding something of “real value” to do for your holidays, I know Jairo would love to receive a card or a photo and a word of encouragement from you. You’d be amazed at how much he can do for your Christmas season.

Jairo is at Eastern Maine Medical Center, 489 State St. in Bangor, until a home can be found that can accommodate his needs. Don’t worry if you suffer from thickness of the head as Jairo and I do when it comes to language, he has translators on duty.

And remember, you don’t need language to be amigos; you just need to do something important. Feliz Navidad!

C. Jeffrey Bergeron is a freelance writer who lives in Old Town.