“Children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices.”

It was a sign that appeared in a Chicago cafe, representing the owner’s attempt to encourage closer supervision of children by their parents. A similar notice was spotted in another restaurant reading “unattended children will be given an espresso and a puppy.”

Both establishments claim that the problem is not children, but those who are supposed to be supervising them, allowing kids to create noise and distractions for other patrons. I’m sympathetic to the point. At a local theater recently, I have to admit, I was relieved when a group of 10 or so unsupervised preteens was escorted out after being repeatedly warned to be quiet by the manager.

What was for most of us a chance to watch a movie was for them a popcorn-throwing, cell-phone-talking, do-cartwheels-up-and-down-the-aisle kind of event. How sad it is if we as a society do not equip youngsters with the skills needed to navigate the public places of our world, teaching courtesy, patience, and thoughtfulness towards others.

At the same time, let’s be honest that a lack of courtesy or mutual respect is neither a necessary nor exclusive symptom of childhood. The trampling of fellow customers by bargain-seeking Black Friday adult shoppers should be evidence enough, to say nothing of thoughtless drivers, aggressive suppertime telemarketers, or commercials that scream at us from the television.

We live in a world increasingly ruled by a sense of personal privilege and entitlement and less and less characterized by thoughtfulness or sacrifice for others. No wonder some kids have a hard time “getting” the concept of thinking of others first, if they see so little of it in we who are their examples and mentors.

Another point to be made is that an adult life lived without ever encountering the chaos, stickiness or noise of childhood is an unhealthy and unreasonable expectation.

We are a human family, we were all cared for and tolerated by many “somebodies” during our infancy and childhood, and living in human society means encountering and interacting with folks of all ages. It is one thing not to want Junior to throw his superhero figurine into our soup at the restaurant, but it is another to expect to walk through life in a permanent child-free zone, feeling “put upon” if asked to tolerate a noisy outburst at the grocery store, an irritating game of peek-a-boo, or (heaven forbid) the whiff of a dirty diaper.

I mention all of this on the Religion & Spirituality pages because it is communities of worship that can set the tone for society’s welcome of children and their families into public spaces. Sanctuaries are holy places, but they exist for the whole people of God.

Just as we give thought to “no-step” entrances and shorten pews to accommodate wheelchairs, have we noticed if electrical outlets are protected from probing fingers? Do we welcome fingerprints on glass doors as signs of our church or synagogue’s vitality? Do we set aside time in the worship service that tells the kids that they are included? Are our nurseries “babysitting cooperatives” among the parents who happen to bring children to church, or do all adults (including perhaps the pastor?) take a turn in nurturing the youngest ones? Do new moms feel community support for nursing their babies in the midst of worship without having to banish themselves to bathrooms or coat closets? Do the budgets of our communities of worship reflect the priority that the Scriptures place upon children?

Such practical matters are especially important to Christians at this time of year when we remember that Jesus was born into a world that offered him no welcome. There was no inn to receive his pregnant mother. There was impatience for his Gospel of inclusion, there was only execution for him when he was accused, and even his closest followers fled rather than stand by him at the end. Nonetheless, it was this one who interrupted his sermon one day, took a child on his knee, and chided the “church leaders” for shooing the kids away. Blessedly, Christmas returns every year, giving followers of the one who was rejected fresh incentive to welcome him into their midst in the form of a child.

May the holidays this year be an inspiration for all who would seek to welcome and make a positive difference in the lives of children.

The Rev. Thomas L. Blackstone, Ph.D., is a United Methodist Pastor in Presque Isle and a brother in the Order of Saint Luke. He may be reached at tlbphd@yahoo.com.