Exhibit A in support of my long-held theory that the human species probably could stand to be pruned from time to time to improve the gene pool would be a wire service news story from Tuesday morning’s sports pages.

Datelined Syracuse, N.Y., the article told of how three armed robbers had allegedly lifted $150,000 worth of jewelry from a former Syracuse University football player who had recently been selected by the New York Giants in the first round of the National Football League draft.

The masked robbers, brandishing handguns and a spray bottle filled with gasoline, reportedly confronted 22-year-old defensive back Will Allen when he returned to his apartment at 4:40 a.m. after a night out. The assailants threatened to spray Allen with the gasoline and strike a match if he didn’t unburden himself of the baubles and bangles he had been so ostentatiously flashing around town.

Their haul: A 51-carat platinum and diamond bracelet valued at $120,000; a 13-carat platinum and diamond bracelet worth $11,000; a white gold Rolex watch worth $9,000; two gold 2.5-carat diamond earrings worth $10,000, one of which they ripped from his ear; and, for good measure, his luxury car and the keys to his apartment. (The story didn’t say what happened to the obligatory 45 pounds of gold necklace that usually is part of the wardrobe of today’s well-accessorized professional jock. Perhaps in their haste the robbers overlooked it. Or maybe they didn’t care for the tacky way it clashed with the platinum bracelets.)

In any event, if ever there were a stickup waiting to happen this would have to have been it, and so I doubt that the story generated much sympathy for the victim. What was nice to contemplate, however, was the reassurance that our professional athletes – be they Super Bowl veteran or greenest rookie, yet to play a down in the big time – continue to have their spending priorities straight. Had you or I just signed a ridiculously handsome contract to play football for the New York Giants we likely would not have blown more than, say, a hundred grand, tops, on jewelry. Worse yet, unimaginative to a fault, we might have tucked away some of the signing bonus for a rainy day, an uncool and un-American move that would speak volumes about why we remain stuck here in Hooterville while Will Allen – missing ear lobe notwithstanding – is on his way to fame and additional fortune, however fleeting it might be.

But enough, already. If you’ve read one story about a professional athlete who goes brain dead when money is involved you’ve pretty much read them all. And besides, Will Allen was not the only guy this week to cash in his chit guaranteeing him his allotted 15 minutes of fame. He had company from Seattle’s version of the Keystone Kops, as well as from an unfortunate domino player in Turkey.

According to a Page One story Thursday moring, Seattle police officers fired more than 20 rounds at one another after mistaking their respective vehicles for a stolen patrol car. No one was hit. The circus began when a bicycle patrol officer in downtown Seattle reported seeing a stolen police car being driven by a teen-ager. A police cruiser pursued the vehicle, but lost sight of it after stopping briefly at an intersection to avoid causing an accident. That’s when another patrol car pulled up, and, mistaking the stopped police car for the stolen vehicle, rammed it from behind.

The officers in the rammed vehicle thought they were being attacked by the kid in the stolen police car, and started firing. Two officers in one car and one in the other exchanged more than 20 rounds before they discovered the error and declared a truce, according to a police spokeswoman.

“Three cops, 20-plus rounds of friendly fire, nearly point-blank range, no hits. What are they teaching those lads at the police academy these days?” John Goldfine of Swanville asked via e-mail after reading the story. My guess would be that it’s not marksmanship. Road rage for beginners, maybe?

Meanwhile, in Nevsehir, Turkey, Ethem Sahin was playing dominoes with the boys down at the local coffeehouse when a cow fell through the roof and landed on him, breaking Sahin’s leg and knocking him unconscious. The animal had wandered from a hillside where it was grazing, onto the roof of the coffeehouse, which was built into the side of the hill.

“I hate when that happens,” said the domino player from his hospital bed.

NEWS columnist Kent Ward lives in Winterport. His e-mail address is olddawg@bangordailynews.net.