If my wardrobe were a country, T-shirts would be president. They flat-out rule – to heck with checks and balances.

My outfits, especially in the swing states (OK, swing seasons) couldn’t function properly without them. Sometimes, they’re conservative. Other times, they’re a little liberal. But usually, they’re moderate. And always moderately cool.

This may not be an election year, but 2006 is the T-shirt’s time to shine. Sure, you won’t see it on any bumper sticker, and – thank God – you won’t get any annoying phone calls from the T-publican National Committee. But read my lips: yes, new T-shirts.

Like those little cardboard signs that block the view at most major intersections on voting day, cute shirts are everywhere. You really can’t beat them. So you may as well join the party and buy one. Or seven.

On the moderate side, I nominate the Ames Brothers from Metropolitan Soul in Bangor ($25). The brand offers pigment-dyed, nicely worn shirts with a slim fit and a real vintage feel. But their real appeal is their view on animal rights – as in, all of the animals they depict look just right. Call me partisan, but I’m all for the bird and snake designs, which are tough and tender at the same time.

Though Marshalls has produced a long line of green party favorites for St. Patty’s Day, I’m stumping for the store’s conservative candidate (which, in a stunning break from party lines, is on clearance for $10). The black scoopneck is both feminine and sophisticated, and the delicate cameo graphic near the hip is what some would call intelligent design.

Old Navy is home to a pair of liberal favorites. Though it looks plain enough on the hanger, the vintage-style T with a crow silhouette is both tight and edgy on the body. And there’s nothing modest about the ’70s inspired pencil-sketch Ts, which have been cut and stitched to reveal a sassy decollete. Ted Kennedy would love it.

If you’d like to show your independent streak, choose small-scale designers such as Diane Topfer of Ferdinand in Portland (www.ferdinandhomestore.com). Her reindeer-playing-accordion screenprint on a lovely, fitted American Apparel T stands out from the pack. Dreaming of environmental protection? Check out Milo in Maine (www.miloinmaine.com) a Portland-based shop that sells organic cotton, stitch-illustrated tops inspired by nature. A slate of independent candidates also can be found at www.shopscad

online.com, the online store of Savannah College of Art and Design.

No matter where you stand on nuclear arms and the mother of all bombs, you can be the bomb of all moms with the adorable designs from MaterniTees by Swanky (www.maternitees

byswanky.com). Wrap your bump in headphones or a PG rating (Pregnant Girl), both $31. You and your belly will be cute as all get out.

More interested in local politics? That’s fine. Just grab one of the hilarious “Townie” T-shirts at The Grasshopper Shop in Bangor ($24.95). You’ll be the talk of the Queen City. And you’ll have my endorsement.

ShopGirl would love to hear from you! Send questions, comments or suggestions by e-mail to: kandresen@bangordailynews.net, by U.S. mail to: Kristen Andresen, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor, ME 04402-1329, or by fax to: 941-9476. Tune in to ShopGirl at 5 p.m. Fridays on WLBZ-2.

Win me!

In the spirit of spring’s most versatile trend, we’re giving away two ShopGirl T-shirts.

To enter, simply fill out this form, cut it out and mail it to: ShopGirl giveaway, Bangor Daily News, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor, ME 04402-1329 or send an e-mail with “ShopGirl giveaway in the subject line to kandresen@bangordailynews.net. A winner will be announced in the April 8 ShopGirl Column.

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