I laughed long and uproariously when I read Karen Heller’s and Marguerite Kelly’s recent columns on adult children living at home. Been there, done that, washed the T-shirts.

We tend, however, to forget that we’ve no one to blame (or praise, if you prefer) but ourselves. Parents – as the experts and the kids will tell you – remain the greatest influence on their children’s early lives. And we are the generation that said: “Let’s talk about it,” instead of “no.”

We’re the generation that didn’t spank, we gave time-outs; that allowed instant gratification, rather than waiting, in almost any area of life; that wanted to be friends with our children, and accepted most behavior with “he’s finding himself,” absolving anyone of any embarrassment or any responsibility; that wanted to raise our children differently than we were raised.

Coincidentally, on the same day (BDN, May 25), I read the story on the joys and trials of old age.

What will these children whom we have raised be like as care-takers of us in our declining years, and as the caregivers of the next generation?

Kim Marchegiani

Old Town