December 25, 2024
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A good love match? The secret’s in the sauce

Next time you’re out and about at a place where people are drinking and mingling, take a look around you. According to a recent survey, the type of drink that cute guy or girl next to you is holding might be the key to their dating personality.

The gist of the survey? Canned-beer drinkers consider themselves to be fun, open to relationships and are up for anything when it comes to romance.

Canned-energy-drink fans define themselves as smooth and sexy. Those who choose nonalcoholic beverages are occasionally cold when it comes to relationships.

The beverage of choice, according to the survey, is your how-to guide for romantic interaction.

Wow. Could it really be that easy?

Now, you have to take into account who’s funding the survey. This one was commissioned by the Aluminum Can Council, which means our aluminum-can-promoting friends want you to like beer and energy drinks because those are the beverages mostly often found in cans. Soda isn’t mentioned in the survey, and I have a feeling aluminum might affect the taste of wine, which is why it’s not canned.

So when the survey results, which were gathered by Opinion Research Corp. via telephone in June with a national sample of 952 adults at least 21 years old, proclaim that canned-beer drinkers are more fun and eager for relationships, keep the business aspect in mind.

The aluminum guys give four steps to identifying the proper mate. First, you can identify your potential match by seeking the most approachable people. Seventy-seven percent of canned-beer drinkers and 70 percent of those who mix energy drinks with alcohol (think the sickly sweet Red Bull and Jaegermeister concoction known as a “Jaeger Bomb”) describe their romantic demeanor as “friendly and outgoing.”

Eleven percent of energy-drink fans describe themselves as “supersexy.” Hmm. Maybe there’s a shot of ego mixed in with the taurine or ginseng.

If you’re looking for a romantic challenge, try sidling up to someone with a nonalcoholic beverage. Eleven percent of those people describe themselves as “cold as ice” romantically or “aren’t sure” of their love personality.

Canned-beer, energy-drink and wine drinkers most often describe themselves as the life of the party.

The second step, which the Can Council considers the introduction, is sort of a no-brainer. Canned-beer, energy-drink and wine fans don’t like body odor, self-absorption or mullet hairstyles. Big shocker, right?

On to Step Three, which according to the survey claims the more you drink out of an aluminum can, the more likely you are to get an invitation for a nightcap after a date. Bottled-beer drinkers can expect a passionate kiss, while energy-drink drinkers are more open to spending the night together. Canned-beer drinkers? Oh, boy, are you gonna get lucky tonight!

Step Four, which will help determine whether the blossoming relationship is the real thing, claims that the average canned-beer drinker is single, open and friendly, while bottled-beer drinkers tend to be more open to committed relationships but are mostly likely first to initially notice the physical appearance of the opposite sex.

By the way, canned energy drinks are preferred by the “supersilky and sexy Casanovas of the 21st century,” wine drinkers are typically white-collar women, those who drink Scotch and tonic mixes are often white-collar divorcees, and nonalcoholic-beverage drinkers are typically widows or widowers with teenaged children.

Of course, there are plenty of exceptions to everything that’s typical in this survey. I know a woman who drinks only nonalcoholic beer but is far from a cold fish. In fact, she’s about as hot mama as they come.

Some beer drinkers are only into microbrews and wouldn’t be seen with a can of Bud Light or a Pabst Blue Ribbon. Then again, you can get some pretty fancy beers in a can these days.

There are wine drinkers who buy their booze at the local convenience story, or people like me who kind of enjoy a glass of wine occasionally but don’t know a Cabernet from a Zinfandel.

I’ll agree with the survey finding that energy drink-alcohol drinkers consider themselves the life of the party. A good friend who I once watched down back-to-back Jaeger Bombs is a well-known party-guy-about-town.

So thanks, Aluminum Can Council, for enlightening us. I’m off to test the theories. See you when the hangover goes away.

Jessica Bloch can be reached at jbloch@bangordailynews.net.


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