“People are skeptical about addiction recovery, Deb,” the radio talk show DJ recently told me live on air. “What about the Mel Gibson thing and what that says about recovery?” What indeed, I thought.

Soon after, Matt Lauer introduced a piece on the Today Show called “The Rehab Excuse.” This TV segment listed a bunch of celebrities who announced they were going into rehab after acting in flagrantly destructive ways, attributing their bad behaviors to alcohol or drug addiction.

Former congressman Mark Foley, who has admitted to inappropriate communications with congressional pages, and actor Mel Gibson, who launched into a sexist, anti-Semitic tirade after being arrested for drunken driving, were in the story, joined by a host of others. It was also noted that actor Robin Williams had just relapsed after more than 20 years of sobriety and was re-entering treatment.

Announcers said public perception is that celebrities avoid taking responsibility by saying they did those terrible things because of their addiction and then heading off to treatment. Recovery is just not credible and treatment is a cop-out for many, they suggested.

We human beings are fascinated by bad news. Think of our interest in car crashes and catastrophes, sexual affairs and other scandals. The media is mostly filled with bad-news stories, reinforcing that this is what we want to read and hear. There is at least some part of us that perks up when witnessing others acting badly or getting themselves into trouble. And we are never really surprised to learn that alcohol or drug impairment has played a part.

I wasn’t surprised to be reminded that many people do not see the recovery process as credible. But knowing what I know, I want to present another picture. People with addictions lose everything, including homes, jobs, families, friends, health and self-respect. Rehab is no vacation and the central foundation of what makes people well in recovery is accepting responsibility.

In recovery, people must come to terms with physical illness related to their previous lifestyles – conditions like heart disease, cirrhosis or hepatitis. Many have been injured because of their addictions. They must seek and accept medical treatment and learn to live in more healthful ways.

For most, there is self-hatred and shame that must be examined and healed. Since people filled with self-loathing are not very kind to others, key relationships have been damaged or lost entirely. The recovering individual needs to identify and accept that his or her behaviors have harmed others while taking steps to make amends when possible and act with more regard and care overall.

Which is hardly the “cop-out” imagined by some members of the public, who know nothing of the personal struggles of the millions of Americans in recovery, including many high-profile celebrities. For those relatively few celebrities who suffer humiliating public lapses, there are hundreds of thousands staying on track every day, but we don’t hear much about them.

Wouldn’t this be a good way for all of us to live? To honestly face who we are each day and take full responsibility for our choices and actions? Our culture promotes the belief that we are victims, placing blame everywhere but with ourselves for the problems going on in our lives. If there is any sickness running rampant among us, it would be this myth, that my predicament isn’t my fault and others are to blame.

Not exciting news for the media and ho-hum territory for our society, it would seem. But wouldn’t it be more productive, and more humane, to think about the Mel Gibsons or Mark Foleys this way?

“Thank God Mark Foley entered treatment; maybe now he can come to terms with the lives he’s broken and fix what needs to be repaired.” Or “Hey, isn’t it good news that Mel is going to deal with his obvious problems by getting help for himself?”

I can assure you that no responsible treatment provider is going to tell either of these men that what he did was OK or that alcohol or drugs were the only problem. Rehab won’t be a way out, but a way into self-understanding, returning them to society with a renewed sense of responsibility for their own actions and more consideration for others.

Debbie Dettor is the coordinator of the Maine Alliance for Addiction Recovery and has more than 25 years of work experience in the substance abuse and mental health treatment fields.

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