September 22, 2024
Column

Saggy-pants issue won’t go away

Flint, Mich. is the latest American city to throw cold water on the obsession that some wannabe revolutionaries have with wearing their trousers at half-mast, revealing more of their anatomy than most anyone would care to see.

There, new Police Chief David Dicks has ordered his officers to start arresting on sight anyone who lets his pants sag to reveal his underwear, or more. He has threatened the saggy-pants set with jail time and hefty fines for engaging in a fad he calls “immoral self-expression,” which he says violates the city’s disorderly conduct ordinance.

According to an article carrying the suggestively cutesy-pie headline “An equal-opportunity crackdown” in this week’s Newsweek magazine, saggers will be given a warning if their pants sag but remain above their butt. Trousers sagging below the butt, revealing a goodly display of underwear, will result in a charge of disorderly conduct. Exhibitionists who let their pantaloons and underwear droop too far south, liberating too much skin in the process, can count on being charged with indecent exposure. Disorderly conduct and indecent exposure, both misdemeanors, are punishable by 93 days in jail and-or a $500 fine.

Although his crackdown on sagging trousers has endeared the police chief to many proper Flint residents, it has driven the Flint chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union into a fit of righteous indignation regarding what it claims is the chief’s misinterpretation of the law.

“This man has basically taken his personal dislike of a style of dress and made it a violation of criminal law,” said Flint ACLU President Gregory Gibbs. Should he persist, Gibbs warned, the ACLU will see him in court, and soon.

Sagging – a style that has been around for decades – is seen as a relic of a prison system where inmates often wore their pants slung low because they weren’t allowed to wear belts. Some associate the practice with a gangster lifestyle. Practitioners apparently see it as a cool way to demonstrate just how far ahead of the fashion curve they are. And, of course, as a great way to drive the establishment nuts, as well.

Internet bloggers have pointed out that the Flint police chief has but to visit area construction sites and he’ll find more than enough saggy-trousered individuals to fill his jail and clog the courts.

The movement to ban saggy pants has had a long shelf life, and the jokes that it has spawned have been predictable, with plumbers being the butt of many. When the Florida Legislature considered a bill earlier this year that would have prevented students from wearing their pants too low, two senators offered an amendment to make an exception for students studying plumbing.

One noted that, for plumbers, tightly worn pants is a health issue. Tight pants on a plumber “can lead to gastrointestinal distress, hypertension and even stroke,” he said. The amendment might open the door a crack to other amendments, he supposed. But it was a chance worth taking.

The amendment, an obvious spoof of an issue that had diverted Florida lawmakers from consideration of more important legislation, was subsequently withdrawn. What was interesting about the deal was how many people who read about the proposed amendment didn’t realize that it was offered in jest. In some jurisdictions, getting the joke is not something that is easily accomplished.

When a sagging-pants ban was unanimously passed by the City Council of Port Allen, La., last fall, one councilor said he had no desire to view other people’s undergarments. “Underwear is called underwear for a reason,” he said, to applause. Seven other Louisiana communities had enacted anti-sag ordinances at the time, and three more were considering it. Each ordinance calls for hitting offenders hard in their sagging wallets.

The saggy-pants crowd doesn’t bother me all that much. Knowing that it’s attention that they desperately crave, I simply make an elaborate show of looking the other way whenever I encounter the genre. I agree with bloggers who say forget the saggers and go after their kissing cousins – those fashion-plate primitives who insist on wearing white socks in public.

There’s your real menace to society, right there.

BDN columnist Kent Ward lives in Limestone. Readers may reach him by e-mail at olddawg@bangordailynews.net.


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