ROCKLAND – She sports a driver named Bertha and a putter called Hog.

At different times during a round of golf she might play the role of greenskeeper, cheerleader, drill sargent or mother. She talks to her clubs. She talks to her ball. She talks to God. She talks to God about her ball.

She just plain talks. Quips surround chatter intermittently punctuated by fun-loving whoops and howls.

She’s Helen Plourd, a 60-year-old from Rockland. And on Monday, she was the de facto chief of the top team during the second day of the Metropolitan, a popular yearly event put on by the Women’s Maine State Golf Association. This year’s northern venue was 5,457-yard, par-73 Rockland Golf Club.

“She’s really quiet and docile,” joked playing partner Liz Wiltshire of Vassalboro, admitting that the only thing that seems to quiet Plourd is bad golf. “[She’s talking] unless she’s mad, like she was when we weren’t making enough birdies.”

On Tuesday, there wasn’t much bad golf. There were some missed birdie tries, but the foursome posted a gross score of 4-under 69 in the four-ball, best-ball format that rewards a team for the stellar play of its top player each hole.

Pam Johnson, Lynn Gall, Susie Gravel and Katie Gravel tied Karen Feeney, Cheryl Paulson, Deb Wiley and Shirley Kile for second with matching 73s.

The tourney runs two days, with new winners each day. The top grossing team composed of players from one golf club are eligible for overall honors.

Johnson’s team from Augusta Country Club won that award.

Joining Plourd, a 10-handicapper, were Wiltshire, who plays to a nine handicap and Oakland’s Dale Hannon, an eight. Wiltshire plays out of Natanis, while Hannon is a member at Waterville.

Oh. And there was one more player in that group. A woman named Abby Spector.

And she’s not bad, either.

Spector, let’s remember, is only 18 years old, but she has a handicap of zero. Zip. She won four straight Maine high school titles and has taken three WMSGA titles crowns in a row. And she’s widely regarded as the state’s top player. She doesn’t exactly hurt a four-ball team.

When Betty Tewksbury was injured last week, Spector got the call.

“We had to settle for Abby,” Plourd joked after Spector had rifled a big drive on the first hole.

With or without Spector, one thing’s certain. Plourd was going to have fun. And she was going to be here.

After all, she’s been playing Rockland for 46 years.

And for most of those years, she’s probably been entertaining her playing partners with her support and antics.

A highlight reel of Plourd’s Tuesday effort include:

Introducing Hog. “All right, Hog, in the cup,” she said to her putter after reaching the first green.

Hog, a stunningly stout-shafted Easton putter, obliged with the team’s first birdie.

“All right!” Plourd yelled, hopping up and down before running off the green to slap palms with Spector.

Hog, it seems, was adopted when Plourd found him on a trip to Florida several years ago. She saw him in a pro shop, tried him out, and liked the results: 18 holes, 23 putts.

“I said, `I don’t care how much it costs, I’ll take it,’ ” Plourd said.

Since then, she’s tried other models. The last one was particularly bad.

“That was awful,” she said. “So I’m back on the Hog.”

Helen as welcoming committee.

After applauding Spector’s tee shot on the 200-yard 11th hole – a laser 3-wood that left an eight-foot eagle effort – Plourd turned quickly to a player stepping off a nearby tee.

“Hey, you wrinkled queen you,” she shouted. “I haven’t seen you in so long.”

The wrinkled queen hurried over to embrace Plourd.

Helen as the greenskeeper.

After several holes, the longtime Rockland member performed her home-course duty: She spread divot mix into everyone’s divots. Doesn’t matter if it’s day-old, week-old, or brand new. Plourd patched it.

After smoking a drive down the 16th fairway and watching it with a bellow of “Whooooooo, Whooooo, Whoooo,” Plourd celebrated by filling in every hole she could find.

Hannon finally drove away in a cart with Wiltshire as Plourd spread dirt with a religious fervor.

“Get the greenskeeper and get her going,” she advised Tewksbury and Spector with a laugh.

Helen as birdie-watcher and eagle-listener.

Plourd will help her team with birdies, even chasing Wiltshire’s putt into the hole on the 15th hole.

But when Spector lined up a makeable eagle opportunity, Plourd wanted no part of it.

She stood facing away from the green.

“I’m not looking at it,” she said. “I’m listening.”

Spector, the youngster of the group, is as relaxed as Plourd is animated.

But don’t take Spector’s low-key approach for lack of interest.

All day long she displayed an artist’s touch around the greens and escaped from the rare trouble she encounters with flare.

On the 17th, a 224-yard par 4, the team plan called for players to put safe shots in the fairway so Spector can shoot for the green.

After one of two teammates hit safely – Wiltshire later retrieves hers from a lawn, forgiving her trespasses with, “it’s a fairly new ball,” Spector ambled toward the tee box with a club in her hand.

She’s thinking driver.

Plourd’s still thinking safe.

“Hit a safe one,” she says. “Hit a safe one.”

As Plourd passes, Spector rolled her eyes at the notion. She didn’t return the driver to her bag. And she smacked it within 10 yards of the green despite a stiff headwind.

“I almost hit 3-wood and drifted it in,” Spector said later. “But I figured, `What the hell. Rip it.’ ”

Spector supplied the day’s best drama when she botched the ensuing approach, sending it off the back of the green.

Then she stepped up to the ball and chipped it in from 25 feet for the team’s final birdie.

Finally, on the 18th green, Hog had the chance to get the last word.

Plourd lined up the final birdie putt of the day. Hog struck the ball pure.

And the ball slid just past the hole as Plourd jumped up in the air in ill-timed triumph.

“I thought it was in,” she said, shaking her head.

Across the green, Hannon summed up the round.

“Quite a character,” Hannon said.

WMSGA Metropolitan

ROCKLAND – Results of Tuesday’s pairings at the Women’s Maine State Golf Association Metropolitan, held at the 5,457-yard, par-73 Rockland Golf Club. Team scores are four-ball, best-ball.

Abby Spector-Dale Hannon-Liz Wiltshire-Helen Plourd 36-33-69

Pam Johnson-Lynn Gall-Susie Gravel-Katie Gravel 38-35-73

Karen Feeney-Cheryl Paulson-Deb Wiley-Shirley Kile 37-37-73

Marie Blanchette-Pauline Dennis-Sheri Oldham-Sharon Preece 37-37-75

Madolin Fogarty-Bobbie Andrus-Sheila Witham-Donni Witham 40-38-78

Jeane Dumont-Laurie Wills-Dolly Holden-Merry Ellen Plato 39-39-78

Norma White-Jean Sweetser-Barbara Blake-Freda Gaw 39-39-78

Pat Demeurers-Paula Duglas-Diane Johnson-Judy Edgecomb 39-39-78

Lindy Warren-Irene Chase-Joanne Sincyr-Erlene Hartford 40-38-78

Arlene Adams-Jan Splaine-Jeanne Fifield-Joan Beley 42-37-79

Robin Rappa-Anne Benson-Mary Smith-Marie McPheters 41-38-79

Velma Brown-Bobbi York-Charlotte Hall-Bev Davis 40-40-80

Cindy Porter-Pat Bailey-Brenda Barrett-Sally LeClair 38-42-80

Doris Lahey-Ginny Cope-Nancy Maguire-Sandi Piper 39-41-80

Dot Perry-Mary Brown-Pat Carlista-Jane Evans 41-40-81

Betty Farrand-Wendy Pires-Jonette Robinson-Lydia Kaeyer 42-39-81

Judy Plummer-Jude Strange-Maril Blackburn-Pat Warren 41-40-81

Lorraine Van Syckle-Sue Hughes-Nancy McEwen-C.J. O’Connor 39-42-81

Nancy Gould-Maggie Barrett-Judie McCarthy-Polly Dufour 41-40-81

Meredith Tardiff-Maddie Kilmister-Sue Soule-Jeanne Laplante 43-38-81

Nancy Williams-Peg King-Jane Rosenblum-Gen Cheesbro 44-38-82

Linda Hansen-Emily Loiselle-Joan Johnson-Carol Rushton 44-38-82

Geri Halkett-Sharon Dauphinee-Patti Kennedy-Sue Stacey 43-39-82

Brenda Crosby-Barbara Gallant-Marilyn Rice-Patricia Martin 41-41-82

Lynn Hand-Roberta Hanscom-Liz Russell-Julie Green 43-40-83

Marion Feeney-Dot Ohmart-Mary Jane Freese-Sue Roberts 42-41-83

Margo Audifred-Pat Caseldon-Peggy Wilson-Sandra Chase 41-42-83

Dot Cerbone-Anne Pooler-Nancy Hogan-Chris MacGregor 40-44-84

Connie Thurston-Barbara James-Beverly Packard-Joan Slavin 43-43-86

Claudette Amoroso-Nancy Labonta-Sheila Campbell-Carole Cook 44-42-86

Claire Mattson-Sandy Bethanis-Sue Quinn-Eileen Cusick 44-43-87

Barbara Hubbard-Norma Michaud-Nancy Westrack-Bobbi Berry 43-42-88

Sherrill Rollins-Anne Nemi-Nancy Pratt-Fran Simoneau 44-42-86

Jean Cote-Jeannette Cote-Connie Doboga-Camille Booker 46-41-87

Marie Ryan-Bev Benson-Marilyn Gagnon-Bev Ogara 47-41-88

Donna Brophy-Sallie Erhard-Susan Roberts-Charleen Wiseman 42-42-89

Liz Burgess-Arlene Davis-Bertha Cosgrove-Carol Jowdry 45-43-88

Helen Murphy-Jean McCormick-Barbara Niehoff-Maxine Winters 44-47-91

Nancy Kelley-Midge Horne-Lorraine Reed-Lindsey Pinkham 48-44-92

Jan Hawthorne-Phyllis Gaul-Norma Dutch-Joan Dutch 47-45-92

Marlene Lausier-Maddy Campbell-Barabara Holmes-Charlotte Cole 47-48-95

Dorothy Shute-Becky Lothrop-Dot Wood-Eileen Estes 48-48-96

Pins: No. 5, Connie Thurston 0-11, Margo Audifred 6-11, Sheila Witham 8-0; No. 10, Meredith Tardif 2-5, Charleen Wiseman 5-6, Jan Hawthorn 7-4 1/4; No. 18, Marilyn Rice 6-3, Geri Halkett 8-4 3/4, Judy Plummer 10-2

Net: Claudette Amoroso-Nancy LabBonta-Sheila Campbell-Carole Cook 54, (tie) Marie Ryan-Bev Benson-Marilyn Gagnon-Bev O’Hara, Barbara Hubbard-Norma Michaud-Nancy Westrack-Bobbi Berry, Lindy Warren-Irene Chase-Joanne Sincyr-Earlene Hartford and Helen Murphy-Jean McCormack-Barbara Niehoff-Maxine Winters 55