HOW IS MY FIRST GRADER DOING IN SCHOOL?, and two other books that look at your second-grader and third-grader, written by Jennifer Richard Jacobson, Fireside Books, Simon and Schuster, New York, N.Y., 200-plus pages each, $12 each.

Does it seem that teaching practices and jargon change as quickly as fashion trends? Do heated battles over whole language or phonics as THE way to teach reading leave you confused or frustrated? Does it seem like everything about elementary school — even the physical setup of the classroom — has changed since your childhood?

How can parents today find out how their children are doing in school and how best to help?

Help is on the way. In October a very child- and parent-friendly series — Jennifer Richard Jacobson’s “How Is My First Grader Doing In School?,” “How Is My Second Grader Doing In School?” and “How Is My Third Grader Doing In School?” — will be available at a very modest cost for concerned parents.

These books are based on some simple but powerful premises. The first is that you are your child’s first and most natural teacher, the one who knows him the best. Jacobson laments the fact that many parents who don’t think twice about encouraging a child to say “da da” or point to his nose lost confidence in their teaching abilities as that child entered school. “You spend more hours observing your child,” she said. “You discover more of his enthusiasms. You share that emotional connection that is most conducive to learning.”

The second premise should please you if flashcards and workbooks are not your idea of quality time. Jacobson discourages parents from taking this approach. “This kind of learning isolates the child. It’s boring. There’s no interaction. It doesn’t hook into life.”

Jacobson instead encourages interactive activities that both parent and child enjoy: reading together, playing card or board games, baking cookies, writing a family newsletter.

The third premise is that you don’t have to spend a lot of money on educational materials. A library of yard sale books, a button box, a deck of cards, or a child’s beloved collection of Beanie Babies or miniature cars can be ingredients for discovery and learning. Having your child help you cook — and what family doesn’t need to eat? — can give him hands-on experience with fractions.

A parent using a book in the series will start with an assessment of his child’s reading, writing and math abilities. Jacobson urges parents to make the assessment in small steps, to present each activity in a relaxed and fun way, and to give the child a lot of positive reinforcement.

Each question is correlated with an explanation of the skill it measures and its significance, and includes activities that reinforce the concepts involved. Let’s say a child has trouble predicting the next shape in a sequence. The importance of understanding patterns in problem solving is discussed. Recommended activities include clipping out patterns, stringing colored beads and looking for patterns in your home.

I love these books. Ask my 6-year-old daughter, Katie, who helped me try out the first-grade volume. The activities range from basic to sophisticated. There is a wonderful variety. Most use inexpensive, common objects. Many can be completed in the short time periods we normally lose waiting for a bus or standing in line at the store. And some are real sanity savers when making a long car trip with more than one child.

One dragging rainy day I discovered a new use for these books. They contain many creative activities that can keep siblings of different ages playing and learning happily together. Right now Katie and Amber, 9, are making Adam, 2 1/2, an alphabet book based on his current top interest: construction workers and the machines they use.

Jacobson said that in the process of helping a child a parent also enriches his own life. “When you rediscover reading aloud or spend time on the floor playing a board game you experience a sense of connection, a sense of joy.”

Amber says this is just as true for an older sibling. She’s eagerly awaiting the volumes for parents of fourth-, fifth- and sixth-graders due to come out next year which I promise to review as soon as I get them.