Margaret Cho has made a big career out of being funny. She’s sassy and irreverent and trashy. But on the phone, her voice sounds small and protective.
It’s not that Cho has anything to hide. As a stand-up comedian, she has always used her strained family life and personal history as targets for her humor. But since the failure of her controversial TV show, “All American Girl,” and an ensuing addiction to drugs and alcohol, Cho has learned a few lessons in life.
“I know I can choose what I feel about my situation,” says Cho, 33. “I never thought I had the ability to control anything, that I was at the mercy of fate.”
Now Cho, who will perform at 8 p.m. Wednesday, April 10, at the Maine Center for the Arts in Orono, has taken the wheel and is driving ahead with her career. She just bought an old mansion in Glendale, a suburb of Los Angeles, and is about to embark on a national tour to promote her new video “The Notorious C.H.O.”
Her 1999 stage show “I’m the One That I Want,” about weight and addiction issues, was a hit on Broadway and was also made into a self-produced and self-distributed video that showed on the Sundance Channel. Her book of the same name showed up on many bestseller lists.
While writing a book required a different discipline from writing jokes, Cho says the craft came naturally to her because of her history as a storyteller.
Cho began standup as a teen-ager in San Francisco, where she grew up in a family of Korean immigrants. Her biting wit won her the opportunity to open for Jerry Seinfeld, and eventually she was asked to do the TV show, which was the first to have an Asian-American as the central character.
While the show garnered immense publicity – as much for its innovation as for its cancellation – it also wreaked havoc on Cho personally. She was told to lose 30 pounds and was coached by a specialist to learn to be “more Asian.” When the show ended, Cho’s life spiraled downward into addiction.
These days, Cho has taken the spiral in an upward direction. Her work has again become the focus of her career and her happiness is more tied to her own sense of self than to Hollywood’s.
Still, she isn’t quick to throw around blame. The brush with Hollywood fame didn’t break her spirit. It simply accelerated a face-off with a depression that had been gathering steam since she was a girl.
“I think to a certain extent I would have always had an eating disorder,” said Cho, who, in her book, describes clandestine predinner binge trips to a pizzeria with her mother. “But being involved with the entertainment industry made it worse. Beyond that, I don’t think my neuroses and insecurities have been that affected by the industry.”
Indeed, she says, she wouldn’t have missed that chapter in her life. It has helped her focus her talents and goals as a performer and as a person. Her commitment these days is to finding out what kind of person she is without drugs. She looks to other women who have published their stories about depression, recovery or self-esteem – Gloria Steinem, Bell Hooks, Elizabeth Wurtzel. Last year, Cho was on the cover of a Rosie magazine issue devoted to depression.
More importantly, however, Cho says she has found a group of like-minded friends who are interested in life journeys. They gather regularly to share spiritual practices and, each year, take renewing trips to southeast Asia.
“I’m in the right place,” says Cho. “I feel comfortable and happy and there’s a lot of security for me because I know what I am doing with the touring and writing and videos.”
Does she worry about backsliding into Hollywood stress?
“I operate outside Hollywood in so many ways,” said Cho. “My work is about doing my own thing. It’s not about being cast in something or waiting around for something to happen. This is the greatest time.”
Margaret Cho will perform 8 p.m. Wednesday, April 10 at the Maine Center of the Arts. For tickets, call 581-1755.
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