Earth Day – actually, Earth Three-Day Weekend – was celebrated in Portland by graffiti artists expressing themselves on exterior walls throughout the city, an event that involved the use of fume-blocking filter masks and that produced a pile of empty spray-paint cans. At Unity College, the Recycled Derby Race turned used but serviceable wheeled devices – bikes, lawnmowers – into something that might not even roll down a hill. In Orono, seven UMaine students got naked, painted themselves green (the unnecessary use of paint apparently is an increasingly popular way to declare one’s love for the planet) and rode bikes around campus. All this environmentally oriented holiday lacks is an SUV clearance sale.

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As communities throughout Maine ponder the pros and cons of hosting a proposed Penobscot-Passamaquoddy casino, New Hampshire officials are lobbying hard for the cons, assuring Maine it does not want such a venture. Of course, these are the same officials who spent much of the last decade assuring Maine it did not want a naval shipyard that’s been here forever. Live Free and Meddle?

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Best recent quote on the casino comes from Portsmouth, N.H., Mayor Evelyn Sirrell: “I just don’t like the quality of people that will be coming into our area.” Those busloads of grannies with the sparkly jumpsuits and the big coin cups can be a scourge – ever see a pack of them tear through an early-bird buffet?

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Second best comes from Wells Town Manager Jonathan Carter: “What we’ve been fearful of is the Indians not living up to what [tribal lawyer Tom Tureen] means by saying whatever town doesn’t want us, we won’t come to.” Indians and broken promises – Mr. Carter certainly has identified a persistent theme throughout American history.

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Hoping to reverse the turpitude that she says took hold of Inglis, Fla., after Elvis Presley shot a movie there 40 years ago, Mayor Carolyn Risher has issued a proclamation banning Satan from the city limits. The moral fiber of downtown Inglis has improved markedly, but we hear the suburbs are going to hell.

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Elsewhere on the Elvis beat, the Vaughn-Bassett Furniture Co. has launched a line inspired by The King, including the “Love Me Tender” bed and the “Burning Love” heart-shaped mirror. In a paraphrase Mencken’s famous gag about no one ever losing money underestimating the intelligence of the masses, furniture industry analyst Britt Beemer says this about the new line’s potential: “I wouldn’t think of Elvis Presley’s name if

I were thinking about the epitome of good taste. It might do very well.”