On Oct. 10 I am going to trial for criminal trespassing because on June 14 I would not leave the base of a tree that was marked for removal by the Maine Department of Transportation. This tree and several other beautiful trees that graced the landscape on this very scenic section of road were about to be cut down along Route 1 in Warren as part of the DOT’s overall plan to improve road conditions.

Before my arrest I spent a great deal of my adult life figuring out who I am, trying to understand the puzzle of the self, picking up pieces and discarding others. The puzzle would never be complete without all its parts and I would continue in a circle like most of us, moving too fast to see the opening to life.

Now I see that I am whole the way I am and it’s not about me at all. Something has changed in me while driving on Route 1 in Warren this spring. The tall trees with their death sentence tied around them as though they were to blame for all our mistakes spoke to me. It was not through a desperate call of help, but a collective sadness and pity for mankind through which I realized my existence.

As individuals we are in homeostasis when our minds and bodies are in balance. The human race is healthy when we are in harmony with nature. Every tree, like every human being, matters because we are all part of one whole. Trees are willing to be sacrificed until we can see one day that we are killing part of ourselves when we take more than we need. When we work unselfishly and with respect, and when our intentions are for the greater good, we are working with the laws of nature. When I sat at the base of the maple tree I was aware not of my own existence, but of our existence. When the man asked me to move away from the tree or else be arrested, I thought not with my mind but with my heart, soul and mind as a fully conscious being who is connected to all living things.

The recent actions of the DOT brought to light the fact that, as an individual, I have a responsibility to do my part in preserving a livable future for those that follow me. Collectively we need to act now against the destruction (that usually precedes construction), create alternative lifestyle choices that prove sustainable for our children’s future and take an active role in affecting policies that become law, i.e. transportation.

It would have been wrong to walk away from the tree because for me it would have meant giving up on the possibility of making a difference. At that point in time, however late I entered the stages of devastation, I had hope that I could make a difference for the benefit of mankind even if it meant being unjustly arrested and taken to jail. Those who protest the slaughter of trees – by people who make profits from pavement – are not criminals. They are citizens whose voices were not heard and who got caught up in a system whose laws have not evolved in time with the conscience of its people. I will no longer expect from government what I have not put into it. I’ve learned that making a difference is a lifelong job.

If the people making the laws are being persuaded by people in corporations who are making selfish and asinine decision that have a hostile effect on us and on the environment then we cannot afford the luxury of looking away or of letting someone else take care of us. If we do we will soon have nowhere to run because everywhere we turn there will be an automobile in front and one in back of us, horn blaring, pushing us forward to the next intersection only to wait there for the light to change.

Whatever is decided in court will not affect my feelings toward preserving neighborhoods nor the value that I place on natural beauty. Furthermore, if the democracy that we struggled to attain is valued, then the voices that speak for the majestic shade trees in Camden – and all other voices that give reverence to our special places everywhere – will be heard and more sensible decisions will be made without the unnecessary environmental, financial and emotional costs.

Susan Higgins is from Bangor and now lives in Boothbay Harbor.