Tomorrow it all begins anew.

Red Sox fans will suffer as Clemens sits. Canseco will develop an upper cut that will damage his entire right side as he tries to beat the Green Monster. Yankee fans won’t leave Sox fans alone for a minute as the richly talented pinstripers try to live up to their laurels. Baseball is back.

But wait. There’s more. “Welcome to the Show” is this year’s campaign slogan for major league baseball as it tries to bring us all back to the yards with smiles on our faces and love for the game in our hearts.

What follows are some of the words from last week’s memo from the office of Major League Baseball sent to everyone in marketing and broadcasting in the majors.

“The Campaign is Fun: Baseball has its own weather, its own food, smells, sounds, superstitions, traditions and language. The campaign, using humor, touches on these aspects that make going to a game a lot of fun.”

“Baseball Endures: Baseball is an enduring part of American life. The campaign will touch on this.”

“The Show: Major League Baseball is `the big time’ for the players and for the fans.”

“The Campaign Looks Forward: This campaign focuses on the re-energizing of the game and reminds fans about how much fun baseball really is.”

“Welcome to the Show: The campaign’s theme is drawn from the baseball vernacular that refers to the Major Leagues as `the Show.’ `The Show’ is the real thing, the big time, for everyone who touches baseball.

” `Welcome to the Show’ literally welcomes fans and it is meant to suggest that when they enter, they become a part of it. It is a theme line that is hip, has `legs’ (it can last for several years), and is adaptable by clubs, licensees, local and national broadcasters and other business partners.”

I repeat, those are actual words from the memo about how major league baseball is going to sell the game to us and make us feel good about it. Former Red Sox pitcher and spaceman Bill Lee will be involved in some of the commercials to give us that fuzzy feeling from a guy you just have to like.

Just a suggestion or two. How about a signed statement from the owners and players as follows:

“We deeply regret that we nearly killed the game due to our incredible greed. We promise there will be no more stoppages and there will be postseason play with or without a deal. We, the owners, will not raise ticket prices for the next five years and will cease the playing of obnoxiously loud music between every inning so you, the fans, may talk with one another, maybe about baseball. We will ask you what you would like to hear and see at the ballpark, rather than paying millions to some ad agency to make it up. Tickets for the first month are half price, as are all concession items except beer. Kids will get in for half price for the entire year. The idiots who are drunk and spilling beer on your kids will be thrown out of the ballpark for the year the first time it happens.

“We, the players, will prepare ourselves for every game and compete as we are best able on every at-bat and play in the field. We will sign autographs until our hands go numb and will make at least one appearance per week for charity for the next 10 years.

“We are sorry. We will strive to build and play the game under a commissioner to be appointed immediately, whose name is George Mitchell, and whose only task shall be to act in the best interest of the game, with the fans coming first.”

Now that statement is also “hip” and probably has “legs” since it reeks of common sense. Of course, nobody expects the players and owners to use that, ever.