The only reason I go into my neighborhood movie store is that I bought a coupon book that offers two movies per month for the price of one. I can never find one movie, let alone two. They have 45 copies of one movie, but hardly ever one I am looking for. Many times I leave empty-handed.

I like an occasional Italian masterpiece, maybe a Japanese samurai classic, not another Bruce Willis movie. And you can forget Jean Claude van Damme as well.

Now along come the folks from Netflix, offering me more ways to spend money, like I needed any more.

For the uninitiated, Netflix is the world’s largest online DVD movie rental service, which already has a million subscribers. (I would guess they are making some money, but I used to think that about Amazon.com, too). The service offers 13,500 titles.

Now, even I could find one there.

Here is the deal. You pay them $19.95 a month and you can rent as many movies as you can watch, three at a time. You keep the trio for as long (or as briefly) as you want, them ship them back and order three more. The happy and rich folks at Netflix claim they can reach more than half of their subscribers with next-day delivery in their free, pre-paid return envelopes.

This is the best part. I have paid a king’s ransom in movie rental late fees, even more than Rockland parking tickets. I could fund the state shortfall with my late fees. I could almost pay off my credit cards with late fees. With this service, there are no late fees.

I checked out the Web site (Netflix.com) like a kid in a candy store. They have taken a page from Amazon.com and offer recommendations from critics. I often have agreed with the taste of Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun Times, also known as “the fat one” from his television show. I checked out his list.

He started off with “Saving Private Ryan,” and who is going to argue with that? An instant classic once you can get by the Normandy invasion scene.

But his number two movie is something called “Shrek.” I will assume that this epic is a cartoon since Ebert tells us that “the despicable Lord Farquaad has the Gingerbread Man tortured by dipping him into milk. This prepares us for another moment when Princess Fiona’s singing voice is so piercing it causes jolly little bluebirds to explode; making the best of a bad situation, she fries their eggs.”

I will pass.

I was about to give up on our boy Ebert when he followed with “Forrest Gump,” which I think about all the time (not only because one scene was filmed in Port Clyde), then “Goodfellas” and “The Wizard of Oz.”

I know I am getting older by the second but he lost me again with “Beauty and the Beast” and “Harry Potter.” How old is this guy, 12?

Just when I was ready to pick a new critic, he recovered with the classic “Dr. Strangelove” and the Japanese classic “Ran” by Kurosawa. Ebert says, “Nobody can film an epic battle scene like Kurosawa. He already has demonstrated that abundantly in “The Seven Samurai,” in “Yojimbo,” in “Kagemusha.” In “Ran,” the great bloody battles are counterpointed with scenes of a chamber quality, as deep hatreds and lusts are seen to grow behind the castle walls.” I will put this one on my list, since I never heard of it. Can’t find that one at the neighborhood store.

Ebert lightens up (you would have to, after “Ran.”) with “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” then gets serious again with “Manchurian Candidate” and the 1946 classic “Notorious.”

Another critic on the site, James Rocci, recommends after “The Sixth Sense” and “The Sopranos” a 1998 movie called “American History X,” which I never heard of. Rocci tells us that “California neo-Nazi (Oscar-nominee Edward Norton) gets sent to prison for murder and comes out a changed man. But can Norton atone for his sins and prevent his younger brother (Edward Furlong) from following in his hate-filled footsteps? With searing performances and gut-wrenching realism, “American History X” offers a compelling and anguishing look at racism, family and forgiveness.”

Just what I need for a cozy Saturday night on the couch.

I think I have my first order for Netflix and a whole new addiction.

Just what I need. Now, if I can only give up Amazon.com.

Send complaints and compliments to Emmet Meara at emmetmeara@msn.com.