September 21, 2024
Column

Senior delivers wedding vows, any place, any time

Etta Porter knows a thing or two about wedded bliss. After all, she’s seen enough of it – well, at least its first few minutes.

Porter, 92, has performed more than 300 marriage ceremonies since she became a justice of the peace in 1973, while working at Bangor City Hall.

It was all her boss’s idea.

“He told me he just didn’t have time to do marriages anymore. I remember the first couple I married. The girl was so nervous, she cried. I said, ‘Don’t be nervous. This is my first marriage, too,'” Porter recalled with a laugh.

She retired in 1983 but continues to perform weddings.

“I’ll do this till I die. I love making people happy,” she said. “And they go away smiling.”

Couples of all ages and all walks of life have passed through Porter’s apartment door and taken their places under the large, white, crepe paper wedding bell that has been hung for the occasion.

John and Mary Jones, an engaging but shy couple who prefer that their real names not appear in the paper, recently stood under that ceremonial bell.

“It was a beautiful wedding,” said Mary, 69, gently twisting the simple white gold band newly placed on her finger.

“Mrs. Jones [as he refers to his bride] is right,” said a beaming John, 74. “Etta did a wonderful job.”

Porter keeps scrapbooks filled with mementos of all the weddings at which she has officiated. After each service, she takes a picture of the couple and makes a few notes about them and the ceremony. She also has stacks of thank-you cards from grateful couples.

Perusing the albums has jogged memories of some of the most unusual weddings.

“Last year I performed a ceremony on a mountain in Clifton,” said Porter with amusement. “Two people held my hands all the way up [the mountain], the leaves were so slippery and I had to rest every 15 minutes.” She held onto a rope during the descent.

And then there was the wedding in Cascade Park. In the winter.

“It was five degrees below zero,” said Porter. “The bride wore a beautiful gown. I wore a parka.”

She has performed weddings in the intensive care unit of a hospital and in jail.

“They frisked me when I went in,” she said, holding her arms out straight as a demonstration.

Sometimes couples show up on her doorstep without witnesses. Or notice.

“I ask my neighbors to be witnesses,” she said. “And they usually come right over when I call. But one time [her neighbor] Millie said, ‘You’ll have to wait a minute. I’m in my nightdress.’ And I’ve had to make couples wait while I change my clothes. I never marry anyone when I’m wearing slacks. I always wear a skirt.”

Pants might have come in handy during the ceremony in which the groom insisted on getting married while standing on a rock in the middle of the Kenduskeag Stream.

“I said I wasn’t going to walk through the water, so he chose a rock closer to the shore,” she said. He carried his bride to the rock, while Porter shouted the service from the bank.

Whether performing ceremonies in her apartment or communing with nature, Porter takes great joy in the process, which is not surprising, said former co-worker Lillian Smith.

“Etta is a dear, sweet person and a very good friend. And she is always looking on the bright side,” said Smith. “She is vivacious and has such a spirit for life. Everyone who meets her falls in love with her.”

Porter, who was widowed after more than 30 years of marriage, offers a few tips for newlyweds.

“I think togetherness is the secret,” she said. “Always respect the confidences of your partner and never forget to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day.”

Carol Higgins is communications director at Eastern Agency on Aging. For information on EAA, call 942-2865 or log on www.eaaa.org.


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