Happy International Quirkyalone Day, everyone!

Oh, there’s another holiday happening today, Feb. 14? No one told me!

OK, OK. I know it’s Valentine’s Day, too. And watch out, because I’ve got big plans … to attend an all-day swim meet at the University of Maine pool in Orono (which is something I actually love to do).

I like to think I’m a strong person who doesn’t buy into all that stuff about Valentine’s Day. Who needs all the high-calorie chocolates, sappy cards and flowers that make you sneeze?

I headed over to Borders near the Bangor Mall for some affirmation of my feelings. There must be some kind of Valentine’s Day backlash, something for those of us who are alone and pretty OK with being so.

I found lots of books about how to fall in love, what to do when you fall in love, what to do when you fall out of love, and why you can’t fall in love at all. I found “All Men Are Jerks until Proven Otherwise” and “Why Men Love Bitches.”

Nice. Great attitudes. And those were in the self-help section!

I found chocolates and notepads and fuzzy Beanie Babies. I was ready to give up for the morning. Then I saw it.

The book wasn’t red or pink and looking at it didn’t give me a toothache. It had kind of a calming blue and green cover with one big word across the middle.

“Quirkyalone”

The subtitle, “A manifesto for uncompromising romantics,” was promising. I opened the book and read a bit.

“Of course we were single; we were a gang of cool, adventurous, distinctively attractive women leading often-improvisational lives,” author Sasha Cagen writes about a group of friends.

That was enough to snare me. Cagen’s book is meant to be a celebration of independence, freedom from following a set course (date, marry, have kids, etc.). The book is focused on women, because there are plenty of positive images of males who are alone (hello, Marlboro Man) although Cagen makes it clear that men can be quirkyalones, too.

Cagen’s catchphrase kind of exploded after she wrote a column about it in a San Francisco magazine.

Here’s the definition, from quirkyalone.net:

Quirkyalones are romantics who resist the tyranny of coupledom. Whether by birth or through life experience, we are independent-thinking people who prefer to be open to finding that magical click (and the myriad possibilities that life has to offer) rather than exist in a stifling or unsatisfying romantic relationship.

Sounds a bit angry to me. Personally, I think you can get something out of every kind of relationship. It’s not good to stay in a bad relationship, but there’s no point in shutting a relationship down if it’s not that “magical click.”

IQD is not meant to be anti-Valentine’s Day, according to the Web site. It just happens to fall on the same day. Sure.

There are actual Quirkyalone parties tonight. The closest one to us in Maine is in Providence, R.I. (it’s at Tazza, 250 Westminister St., at 8 p.m. if you have time to jump in your car today).

Assuming you can’t get to Providence tonight, I have a suggestion. Do something nice for yourself, and be quirky enough to do it alone.

Or come hang out at the swim meet (or the high school basketball tournament or track competition or ski races). There’s not a more heartwarming thing to do than watch high school kids performing at their highest levels.

Trust me, it’ll tug at your heart more than any card, box of candy or bouquet of flowers.

Talking tips

A reader recently e-mailed with a suggestion that I loved, so I want to solicit your opinions.

How does one start a conversation, anyway?

It’s tough to approach a total stranger, but I’m going to let everyone in on my best tips (and of course I’ll share a story or two). I’d like to hear what everyone out there has to say, from your own advice to avoiding cliched pickup lines to some of the worst lines you’ve heard.

Jessica Bloch can be reachedat 990-8193 or jbloch@bangordailynews.net