My puppy has a foot fetish.

Trying to get dressed in the morning is a hazardous proposition. I’ll be standing in the middle of the bedroom, one foot on the floor, the other halfway in a pant leg, when ShopPup emerges from under the bed. In an instant, she has the pant leg in her mouth, tugging away, waiting for my foot to emerge so she can chew on my sock. While my foot is in it.

When she’s not busy chewing the couch, the throw pillows, the recyclables or the kitchen gadgets (who needs an egg slicer, anyway?), Stella can be found chomping on my socks, my flip-flops, my boots, my dress shoes and my sneakers. At night, while we’re sleeping, she’ll sneak one of my slippers under the bed and nibble away.

Like her adoptive mother, Stella has exceptional taste. She doesn’t chew cheap shoes. Only the best will do for my teething baby. It’s a good thing I can’t afford Manolos.

It all came to a head last week, while ShopGuy and I were watching a movie. I went into the kitchen for a glass of water. What I found, instead, was ShopPup, curled in a corner with one of my beloved Steve Madden slides in her mouth, looking cute but guilty. That was it.

All told, Stella has destroyed two pairs of flip-flops, one pair of leather slides, one pair of winter boots, one pair of dress boots, my sneakers, the Steve Maddens, a pair of wool clogs that doubled as my favorite indoor shoes, and my new slippers.

This presents a problem. An expensive problem.

See, I’m running out of shoes. Unlike most women, I’m not a shoe person. I’m a purse person. I like shoes well enough, and I certainly can appreciate lovely footwear, but I don’t fixate on it. Now I have to.

Fortunately, Stella has only decimated my winter selection (with the exception of the flip-flops and the slides). She left my tall boots and my short stiletto boots alone, which will save me at least $100. And her timing couldn’t have been better – all the cold-weather shoes are on clearance now.

I immediately headed to Marshalls, which had an amazingly good selection of shoes on sale, including gorgeous Ralph Lauren tall boots for $25. I already have two unscathed pairs, so I set my sights on the Kenneth Cole Reaction pumps ($8) and a pair of Skechers slip-on sneakers which resemble my Steve Maddens. They’ll have to do, and at $19.99, I don’t feel bad about not liking them as much as my old pair. I flirted with a pair of wine-colored Joan & David pumps, but they were $50 on clearance, so I resisted them on principle. Maybe they’ll get marked down again.

I wanted to go to Shoegazer, my favorite shop in Ellsworth, but I didn’t have time for the trip. I specifically wanted the red N.Y.L.A. Mary Janes that my best friend bought there for $15 last week. They’re adorable, but perhaps it’s not meant to be.

So it was off to the mall, where Filene’s is still having its shoe clearance. Unfortunately, everything I want there is full price for spring. A friend tipped me off to Burlington Coat Factory, which, coincidentally, is in the midst of a huge blowout sale. I was temporarily distracted by the clothing, and I ended up buying a sweater for $3.49 and a shirt from the Limited for $12.98. Cute and cheap.

But I was on a shoe mission, and I found more than I bargained for. Even the full-price shoes at Burlington had Marden’s-worthy price tags. The boots were fabulous, especially the rubber-heeled Kenneth Cole Reaction pair in black. I needed a pair of brown boots, though, and I didn’t find what I wanted in my size, though a pair of dark brown Westies caught my eye. I was about to leave empty-footed, when the most adorable kitten-heel sandals caught my eye. They were $9.99, and available in red, white or black. I bought the black pair to replace the slides that ShopPup ate.

I won’t be able to wear them for a few months, but hey, maybe Stella will be out of her chewing phase by then. Or maybe she’ll take a fancy to ShopGuy’s shoes.

Reader Response

E.G.’s letter about what one reader dubbed “disproportionate garments” garnered quite a response. Janet Beaulieu writes, “While dresses are always a problem unless they’re A-line, skirts and pants with elastic waists often work well, and one very good source for conservative but stylish garments that are often cut “slim” but have some “give” to the waist is Lands End. I’ve been buying from them for many years now, and if you’re not happy with your purchase, they refund without fuss. … They’ll also hem most pants to the right inseam length at no extra charge, and they carry misses’, petites’, and women’s clothing.” For a catalog, call (800) 356-4444 or visit www.landsend.com.

Nancy, who declined to give her last name, had a similar problem to E.G. She solved it by shopping in the boys’-young men’s section at department stores. She writes, “flies open on the wrong side but they do on many women’s items also.”

ShopGirl would love to hear from you! Send questions, comments or suggestions by e-mail to: kandresen@bangordailynews.net, by U.S. mail to: Kristen Andresen, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor, ME 04402-1329, or by fax to: 941-9476.