Roger Carter, formerly of Machias, who moved to California in 1997, came home to visit his aging mother, Annie, who had been living alone since her husband’s death in 1995. What he found was a horrific sight.

Every room of her house was cluttered with old newspapers, bags filled with coupons and sale fliers, books and hundreds of shipping boxes that had contained merchandise. Her bookcases, tables and floors were packed with unopened videos, DVDs, audiocassettes, and CDs. And Annie didn’t even own a video, DVD or CD player!

When Carter asked why she had bought so many useless items, she simply explained that she “owed” the money.

Stunned and heartbroken, Carter realized his mom was suffering senile dementia. After taking steps to see that she received care, he began the difficult process of reviewing her scattered statements and check registers only to find that she had spent thousands of dollars on items she couldn’t use and had contributed to out-of-state religious groups, animal charities and children’s services, many of questionable legitimacy.

Roger and Annie aren’t alone. Every year hundreds of Mainers discover that parents or relatives can no longer make informed judgments or have fallen prey to con games targeting seniors by mail or phone.

Widows, widowers and others living alone are victims of choice for sweepstakes (often claiming they are “guaranteed winners), “free” offers for record and tape club subscriptions (that continue to send items until canceled), and bogus charitable solicitations. The loss to Maine seniors often is catastrophic, wiping out lifetime savings and draining family inheritances.

Family members often hesitate to request access to relatives’ checking, savings or credit card accounts until they become ill or unable to handle their own financial affairs. They may discover only then the extent to which their loved ones have been victimized.

And Carter’s problem was the same as many who have moved away, he wasn’t around to see his mother’s behavior change. Feeling helpless, he contacted COMBAT. “My parents worked hard to save for their old age,” he said. “Mom spent $125,000 in three years. I am heartsick. Can you help at all?”

We told Carter we weren’t sure, but to bring the records into the office so we could sort them out.

The cash Annie sent to charities was gone for good. So we focused on the established companies such as Reader’s Digest, Columbia House and several publishing houses from which she had purchased music, videos and books by subscription.

COMBAT wrote each company a caring letter, describing the circumstances and how devastated the family was. We enclosed inventories and amounts. Much to our delight, every one of the companies responded with understanding and sent postpaid return vouchers for the merchandise. A year later, Roger had refunds totaling $36,397!

“I am amazed,” he wrote, “at the generosity of these companies. But I am even more amazed at what you people at COMBAT have done. The family blesses you for helping us through this difficult time. My sisters and I have decided to include COMBAT in Mom’s will to say thanks for all you’ve done.”

Thank you, Roger and family. And for others in similar circumstances, watch for signs that loved ones are losing their ability to make informed choices.

Become involved in their financial matters or, if you are not geographically close enough, have a trusted friend or financial adviser visit now and then. To do so is not an intrusion, but an act of love.

Consumer Forum is a collaboration of the Bangor Daily News and Northeast COMBAT-Maine Center for the Public Interest, Maine’s membership-funded, nonprofit consumer organization. Individual membership $25, business rates start at $125 (0-10 employees). For help and information write: Consumer Forum, Bangor Daily News, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor 04402-1329.